This was a timely article. I could barely read it, because I am so angry and feeling like a victim. My downstairs neighbour is hard of hearing and plays his TV loud to the point I hear it in my condo. It has been going on for sometime (2 years) and I call down on a regular basis to ask him to turn it down, he does for a few minutes. Yet, when I first moved in he was disturbed by noises from me at 5am in morning (that is the time I wake up), so I am very conscious and considerate of him, but he does not give me the same consideration. I am thinking of moving (at great cost that I can’t afford), but I don’t know if that is the answer. I want to file a formal complaint with the condo board, but he is on the condo board. I am a victim in my mind…..the ego rant is constant.
Yet, there is a sense that this ego rant, or what I think is a noise problem is something other than what it appears to be. Your article pointed to it, but there is such resistance to look at the fear, the separation . The ego mind thinks the ONLY solution is to move or start a war of playing loud music at 5am in the morning to get back at the guy. I want to hurt him back because he doesn’t honour me. Wow, this kind of response feels so awful. The ego’s cry for action is very much obscuring the truth. There is a sense “I am not upset for the reason I think”.
At this point I have no idea what to do, but open to higher guidance. There is such a familiar feeling of helplessness and hopelessness, that I am so bad for wanting things to be different that I will never receive guidance. It is amazing how what I think is a “noise” problem is revealing deeper blocks to peace. As always, thank you Sean. 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It's so easy to quote the course or put on a spiritual face in public, but this is the real deal. Why is it so hard to live with our neighbors? Our co-workers? And it's getting harder! What is going on?
A Course in Miracles simplifies things for me. It teaches me that in any situation "I am doing this to myself." But also - and this was a harder lesson and, in some ways, ongoing - it taught me that I am not defective or less-than or forsaken by God because I am doing this to myself.
It's okay to be messy. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to make a mistake, even a bad one.
Forgiveness means clear seeing - it means seeing with as little judgment, of ourselves, of others, and of the overall situation. That's the work - I have to find a way to get out of the way. I have to find a way to see the situation as God sees it. Regardless of te outcome - the heater gets fixed, the dogs stop barking, the neighbor suddenly stops watching televison - my work is to find a way to get out of the way.
And, again, that's not easy. It takes commitment, it takes faith, it takes discipline, it takes a good sense of humor - and I am often in short supply on ALL of those.
So I have to default a lot to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I have to turn to them - in defeat, discouragement, dismay - and say, you got to bail me out again. You got to handle this for me because I can't. Sometimes I have to repeat that desperate prayer every five minutes. Sometimes more.
And the thing is, when I do that - as the situation clarifies, as I see the way I am contributing to make it as painful as it is - I also begin to perceive real solutions. They usually aren't the first or second or even tenth idea that occurs to me.
But somewhere in the messiness, a voice says, try this. And I try it, and creates some breathing room. It creates some space. And then I remember: oh, right. I am a child of God, this person I'm in conflict with is a child of God, we're all children of God, we're all forgetting this all the time, some of us are really hurt and angry over it, but it's all going to be okay.
Does that make sense? Being patient and gentle and kind with myself is hard, and I need a lot of help, but I'm getting better at asking for it AND accepting it. I lean on folks who share our commitment to transformation and I try to be there when they need a shoulder.
And it works - slowly but surely it works.
Thank you again for sharing and being so honest and vulnerable. That's the gift that the Holy Spirit wants - into the openness that letting go through honesty creates, peace will flow. Even if it's only a trickle, it testifies to the great river of happiness that is slowly catching up with all of us.
You're the light, Glenda. Thank you for shining here.
Thank you so much for your sharing as I too am going through a similar experience. As Sean shared my default is Holy Spirit too. The help came through you and Sean. Thank you. Thank you Sean. I am so grateful
Hi Glenda - I'm so glad you shared this. We had a similar problem with barking dogs for two years (next door). Prior to living here we had a loud drunk making noise all night so I'm no stranger to these situations. It became a powerful motivator for me to do internal forgiveness work. I can relate to what you said about the ego mind’s solutions—they just don’t work. I was angry, too. But I realized I had to fully accept the situation as it was; to see that what’s happening is simply happening. My neighbor wasn’t trying to victimize me—he was just oblivious.
When I forgave not only the neighbor but also the dogs, I felt a sense of peace. Interestingly, the dogs seem to bark less now, not unlike Sean’s story about the furnace turning back on.
Does this mean we’ll stay in our home long-term? Probably not. But we’ll make that move on our own terms, thoughtfully and peacefully.
I admire your openness to higher guidance, and I believe you will receive it. I’m not saying that circumstances will necessarily change, but the real shift is within—it changed ME.
I needed to read this today absolutely. Thank you, Sean. "A big shift in my life occurred when I stopped being afraid of fear. When I could accept it as part of my experience, neither more nor less important than any other part, it was easier to look at and relate to. It became possible to let ego rant without obeying it."
"The first kind - me from the tree - is not a problem and dwelling on it (e.g., studying the physics, indulging the metaphysics, exploring the supernatural) - is often a distraction from responding to the second kind, which is actively dangerous. A Course in Miracles is given to address the second. It’s given to bring us into a new understanding of relationship." These words brought to mind Marianne Williamson, who enters the US political fray with a message of love fearlessly even as she is too often mocked or ignored
Thank you Jenine. She does get mocked a lot but I say to people over and over, we really need more space for those ideas - we have to talk about this stuff - about love, about healing, about togetherness. I'm grateful to her for enlarging the space, and being willing to do it.
Thanks for reminding me about this. Sometimes I listen to Michael Singer. He says thoughts are energy. We have to let them flow through us, good or bad, without letting them get blocked by our stuff/ego. When a fear thought comes up I say over and over”energy in, energy out” sometimes it works better than others.
This reminds me of the idea that we can only serve. Follow one teacher ; ego, holy spirit or choose love or fear period. The ego speaks first because if we act on the fear/lack or whatever it only serves to hold the belief in separation together somehow. Forgiveness quietly does nothing not needing to defend because Truth, Love needs no defense. I feel as though we are collectively approaching some kind of pivotal point on our spiritual journey to definitely choose for Love. May we All follow with our hearts and be the Love we are in Truth 🙏❤🕊
This was a timely article. I could barely read it, because I am so angry and feeling like a victim. My downstairs neighbour is hard of hearing and plays his TV loud to the point I hear it in my condo. It has been going on for sometime (2 years) and I call down on a regular basis to ask him to turn it down, he does for a few minutes. Yet, when I first moved in he was disturbed by noises from me at 5am in morning (that is the time I wake up), so I am very conscious and considerate of him, but he does not give me the same consideration. I am thinking of moving (at great cost that I can’t afford), but I don’t know if that is the answer. I want to file a formal complaint with the condo board, but he is on the condo board. I am a victim in my mind…..the ego rant is constant.
Yet, there is a sense that this ego rant, or what I think is a noise problem is something other than what it appears to be. Your article pointed to it, but there is such resistance to look at the fear, the separation . The ego mind thinks the ONLY solution is to move or start a war of playing loud music at 5am in the morning to get back at the guy. I want to hurt him back because he doesn’t honour me. Wow, this kind of response feels so awful. The ego’s cry for action is very much obscuring the truth. There is a sense “I am not upset for the reason I think”.
At this point I have no idea what to do, but open to higher guidance. There is such a familiar feeling of helplessness and hopelessness, that I am so bad for wanting things to be different that I will never receive guidance. It is amazing how what I think is a “noise” problem is revealing deeper blocks to peace. As always, thank you Sean. 🙏
Dear Glenda,
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It's so easy to quote the course or put on a spiritual face in public, but this is the real deal. Why is it so hard to live with our neighbors? Our co-workers? And it's getting harder! What is going on?
A Course in Miracles simplifies things for me. It teaches me that in any situation "I am doing this to myself." But also - and this was a harder lesson and, in some ways, ongoing - it taught me that I am not defective or less-than or forsaken by God because I am doing this to myself.
It's okay to be messy. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to make a mistake, even a bad one.
Forgiveness means clear seeing - it means seeing with as little judgment, of ourselves, of others, and of the overall situation. That's the work - I have to find a way to get out of the way. I have to find a way to see the situation as God sees it. Regardless of te outcome - the heater gets fixed, the dogs stop barking, the neighbor suddenly stops watching televison - my work is to find a way to get out of the way.
And, again, that's not easy. It takes commitment, it takes faith, it takes discipline, it takes a good sense of humor - and I am often in short supply on ALL of those.
So I have to default a lot to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I have to turn to them - in defeat, discouragement, dismay - and say, you got to bail me out again. You got to handle this for me because I can't. Sometimes I have to repeat that desperate prayer every five minutes. Sometimes more.
And the thing is, when I do that - as the situation clarifies, as I see the way I am contributing to make it as painful as it is - I also begin to perceive real solutions. They usually aren't the first or second or even tenth idea that occurs to me.
But somewhere in the messiness, a voice says, try this. And I try it, and creates some breathing room. It creates some space. And then I remember: oh, right. I am a child of God, this person I'm in conflict with is a child of God, we're all children of God, we're all forgetting this all the time, some of us are really hurt and angry over it, but it's all going to be okay.
Does that make sense? Being patient and gentle and kind with myself is hard, and I need a lot of help, but I'm getting better at asking for it AND accepting it. I lean on folks who share our commitment to transformation and I try to be there when they need a shoulder.
And it works - slowly but surely it works.
Thank you again for sharing and being so honest and vulnerable. That's the gift that the Holy Spirit wants - into the openness that letting go through honesty creates, peace will flow. Even if it's only a trickle, it testifies to the great river of happiness that is slowly catching up with all of us.
You're the light, Glenda. Thank you for shining here.
~ Sean
Thank you so much for your sharing as I too am going through a similar experience. As Sean shared my default is Holy Spirit too. The help came through you and Sean. Thank you. Thank you Sean. I am so grateful
You're welcome, Janice - thank you for being here 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Wow, thank you for your reply Sean. I so appreciate your words of wisdom. Much gratitude. 🙏♥️
🙏🙏
Hi Glenda - I'm so glad you shared this. We had a similar problem with barking dogs for two years (next door). Prior to living here we had a loud drunk making noise all night so I'm no stranger to these situations. It became a powerful motivator for me to do internal forgiveness work. I can relate to what you said about the ego mind’s solutions—they just don’t work. I was angry, too. But I realized I had to fully accept the situation as it was; to see that what’s happening is simply happening. My neighbor wasn’t trying to victimize me—he was just oblivious.
When I forgave not only the neighbor but also the dogs, I felt a sense of peace. Interestingly, the dogs seem to bark less now, not unlike Sean’s story about the furnace turning back on.
Does this mean we’ll stay in our home long-term? Probably not. But we’ll make that move on our own terms, thoughtfully and peacefully.
I admire your openness to higher guidance, and I believe you will receive it. I’m not saying that circumstances will necessarily change, but the real shift is within—it changed ME.
Just quickly wanted to say I really REALLY appreciate forgiving the dogs as well. That's a big heart in you Susan :) 🙏🙏
The dogs are the easy part :)
Thank you for sharing Susan, it was very helpful ♥️
I needed to read this today absolutely. Thank you, Sean. "A big shift in my life occurred when I stopped being afraid of fear. When I could accept it as part of my experience, neither more nor less important than any other part, it was easier to look at and relate to. It became possible to let ego rant without obeying it."
You're welcome, Jenine - thank you for being here and sharing 🙏🙏
~ Sean
"The first kind - me from the tree - is not a problem and dwelling on it (e.g., studying the physics, indulging the metaphysics, exploring the supernatural) - is often a distraction from responding to the second kind, which is actively dangerous. A Course in Miracles is given to address the second. It’s given to bring us into a new understanding of relationship." These words brought to mind Marianne Williamson, who enters the US political fray with a message of love fearlessly even as she is too often mocked or ignored
Thank you Jenine. She does get mocked a lot but I say to people over and over, we really need more space for those ideas - we have to talk about this stuff - about love, about healing, about togetherness. I'm grateful to her for enlarging the space, and being willing to do it.
~ Sean
Hi Sean,
Thanks for reminding me about this. Sometimes I listen to Michael Singer. He says thoughts are energy. We have to let them flow through us, good or bad, without letting them get blocked by our stuff/ego. When a fear thought comes up I say over and over”energy in, energy out” sometimes it works better than others.
Thanks Again
Gary
❤️
You're welcome, Gary - yes, that makes sense. Let it in and let it out, no big deal. Thanks for reading and sharing 🙏🙏
~Sean
This reminds me of the idea that we can only serve. Follow one teacher ; ego, holy spirit or choose love or fear period. The ego speaks first because if we act on the fear/lack or whatever it only serves to hold the belief in separation together somehow. Forgiveness quietly does nothing not needing to defend because Truth, Love needs no defense. I feel as though we are collectively approaching some kind of pivotal point on our spiritual journey to definitely choose for Love. May we All follow with our hearts and be the Love we are in Truth 🙏❤🕊
Thank you, Nancy. This is very clear and helpful 🙏🙏
~ sean