I could spin off in so many different directions in response to this ringing and provocative and affirming post. As a gay man who grew up the son of a Pentecostal minister/father and who spent the first three decades of my life hearing how ashamed I should be of who I was and how frightened I should be for my immortal soul, clearly--as you might guess--Pride has become a pivotal concept and a transforming shift in perspective and in how I live my life. And, to be honest, the parades and festivals, although important and cherished, haven't been nearly as transformational as just understanding that at the most basic level, 'pride' is simply the opposite of feeling ashamed and afraid. It was and is the soul-shattering notion that I am, in fact, innocent of the crimes or sins or failures which I and so many others have been accused of when we refuse to hide or apologize or deny who we are. And who we are is, very simply, the Sons (and Daughters) of God, welcome in God's Heaven and in the fellowship of his children, even if not in all the churches or other institutions who claim some sort of inside information about what He requires or demands or allows. Just a week ago I was privileged to sing with a men's choir at the Salt Lake City Pride festival. There was so much joy everywhere. So much acceptance of remarkable diversity. So much laughter and fun. Such an utter absence of judgment. Many would call me sacrilegious or even blasphemous but no one will ever convince me that God wasn't there, loving every single one of us--every single one of His children who were there to celebrate not being ashamed or guilty or wrong or rejected or condemned. Where else would He be? Thank you as always, Sean, for the Love of God that you extend to all of us who follow your journey.
Thank you for sharing, Dan. I really appreciate this, especially clarifying pride as the opposite of shame AND an affirmation of innocence. The recognition of innocence - in ourselves and in those we consider other than ourselves - is always joyful. The Love of God is our shared inheritance and the absence of exceptions to that Love is what confirms it AS Love.
Thank you for reading and being here and raising your voice in witness (and song). I'm grateful we share this path 🙏🙏
Thank you for this, Sean. So timely as insightful as always. I am currently dealing with family members who have disparaged a vacation I have just returned from because my family and I went to see the musical Cabaret on Broadway. We found it beautiful and moving in its way, of course. There were pages and pages of hateful messages from our conservative Christian family about the harmfulness and sinfulness of homosexuality. It was awful and is a constant for us. The battle I face is with myself. I am so angry and tired of this. Their attacks do not stop. Clearly, my husband, daughter, and I have left the church and truly seek to embrace everyone. We don't want to cut ties, literally, with all of our parents and my husband's siblings and families, but they are all in this camp. Sometimes I don't know what to do or how to handle this constant barrage of hatred on these types of topics. We have left the room at family gatherings when the sermons begin. It's difficult and upsetting. We love them. They are our family and all have wonderful traits and generally good hearts. But they won't stop. I am thinking more and more that the loving thing to do is to set clear boundaries with them about how they address our personal business, but it's very difficult. They become angry when we reject or ignore their hatred of others. I think they would ultimately choose us over their need to be "right." Continuing to endure abuse is not a solution at all. If they can't stop themselves from unsolicited opinions, walking/ staying away with love in our hearts may be our only choice.
Thank you for sharing, Heidi. Those are difficult experiences, and it's not easy to navigate them. Boundaries are not a crime against God or nature, especially when they allow us to remain in communication with one another.
I have friends who would say to me, why didn't you interrupt the bishop? Why didn't you call on everyone in the room? What good is your little barely-noticeable protest?
And I think that's a good point! I think it asks me to think deeply about what love is, and how I am called to participate in bringing it forth in the world.
Walking out was the call; disruption was not. But I completely understand that for others, it might have been. And honestly, I would have their back on that.
I don't believe ACIM mandates a specific approach to the world. The form our learning takes is always personal. The fear that appears is never the other's fear but rather our shared fear; it is mine, too. When I remember this, there is some empathy. I am not called to condemn my brothers and sisters but to love them; most of what I am "called" by Jesus to do is about speaking my truth in ways that allow the lines of communication to remain open. It's not easy but it seems to be where I am meant to be right now.
And someone else is going to be in another place! And that, too, is okay.
All of which is to say, I hear you. I share that sense of frustration and confusion. And my own experience of ACIM teaches me to seek the path that welcomes all, even the ones who don't want to welcome me or my family, or other folks and their families. I don't know always know how to do this but moving gently in the direction of what sustains happiness and maximizes the potential for happiness in others does seem to be effective.
Thank you for being here, Heidi. I am grateful for your thoughtfulness and compassion.
Reading this on a morning in which I am deeply disappointed in -- and ashamed of -- myself for harshly judging someone very close to me for a perceived shortcoming. I see quite clearly how my thoughts are not only unloving but also block the flow of love between us and how my ego seeks some unsolicited way to "help" this person change as a way to avoid changing my way of perceiving and projecting.
I have always considered myself a kind person but at this very moment, well, not so much. . .What you wrote about undoing our fear through whatever form it takes in the world resonates deeply. Your newsletter today was the kick in the butt I needed to look at my own deceptive and destructive "righteousness" and get on with the not-so-easy work of changing my thoughts rather than trying to change another so that I can find peace. (Like that ever works ) I am truly grateful for your words.
Thank you for sharing, Cheryl. As someone who routinely berates himself for falling short of this or that spiritual / psychological / political / etc ideal, don't be too hard on yourself. This stuff happens! And the reminder to come back to our practice - be it ACIM or Buddhism or CBT or whatever - is always a blessing.
I take to heart the idea that there are no accidents in salvation (M-3.1:6), especially in the context of relationship. The comments to this post suggest that some folks find it helpful - but I could never have written it if a) the Bishop had elected to deny rather than project his fear and b) all the Pride marchers had not elected to embrace rather than deny THEIR fear.
We are in this together, and it's messy and beautiful all at once.
And I know you know this: we have been teaching it to each other for years 🙏❤️🕊️
Thank you Sean, and yes, very timely. I always cover the Pride parade here in Puerto Vallarta as a photographer, and my young pre-teen daughter always accompanies me...sometimes I give her my second camera, but mostly it is an amazing time to spend time together and to feel the love and support of our local community for many who have been or have felt marginilized for much of their life. Yes, as a Course in Miracles student, but also as a father, it is important to me not only to learn but also to model the behaviour toward our brothers and sisters. We are none of us better but also none of us worse than any other. We are each of us that child of God who has been created perfect. Thank you Sean.
Thank you Josef - this is beautiful and clear. The Love that arises when we gather in the Name of Love is so beautiful and healing.Thank you for sharing and helping me learn. I am very grateful 🙏🙏
Thank you , Sean for your truly loving reminders yes, it is about recognizing (knowing again) the “ radical depths of shared equality. “ I listened to a message this weekend of a lovely lady , a survivor of the holocaust, and she said acceptance of everyone as equals must happen. Calling each other into a state of acceptance is the Way.
Also Sean I am very grateful for the message, Nonduality, A Course in Miracles and What We Are in Truth. It opened the door with a light, expanding my understanding thank you
You're welcome, Janice. Yes - that is the way and I really like that phrasing - "calling each other into a state of acceptance." It's hard work! Judgment and rejection are so inherent in our experience. But ultimately it is the work of love and happiness, and there is no other way to a durable peace. Thanks for sharing the way. We can't do any of this alone.
And thanks, too, for the kinds words about that post. It was a long time coming 🙏🙏 It's here if anybody is interested:
This article made me aware of all the resentments I hold toward others, which block me from love. I appreciate you helping me to "see differently", to help me loosened the chains of the world and be set free from fear. ♥️🙏
You're welcome, Glenda. Thank you for reading and sharing. Bringing those resentments to light is hard work - but ultimately liberating. And liberation = happiness 🙏🙏
Is it not always your belief your specialness is limited by your relationship? And is not this the enemy that makes you both illusions to each other?
The ear of God and of each other comes from each unrecognised belief in specialness. For each demands the other bow to it against his will and God Himself must honor it or suffer vengeance. 'Every twinge of malice or stab of hate or wish to separate arises here. *For here the purpose that you share becomes obscured from both of you. You would oppose this course because it teaches you you are alike. You have no purpose that is not the same, and none your Father does not share with you. For your relationship has been made clean of special goals. 'And would you now defeat the goal of holiness that Heaven gave it?
What perspective can the special have that does not change with every seeming blow, each slight or fancied judgment on itself? Those who are special must defend illusions against the truth. For what is specialness but an attack upon the will of God? You love your brother not while it is this you would defend against him. This is what he attacks and you protect. Here is the ground of battles which you wage against him. Here must he be your enemy and not your friend. Never can there be peace among the different. He is your friend because you are the same.
It's interesting to me that almost every time I have a "peace disruption" in my life it comes from my own judgement...no asking of guidance from the Holy Spirit. I side with the ego which, with great cleverness, tells me "well, how ELSE are you supposed to move forward, deal with, change something/someone else's mind without a judgment of the situation first?? Which usually ends up being a righteousness issue. One of the great destroyers of peace and love.
If I am then aware, I try to realize ⁹Without judgment are all men brothers, for who is there who stands apart? No teacher of God can judge and hope to learn" (Manual/Characteristics of God's Teachers/Tolerance). Those powerful words help me to realize what I am doing and, more importantly, what I want to be or get back to. Sure, the form of what is happening may be highly unacceptable to me or seemingly unloving towards me...but the content is still a call for love. What can I lovingly do, but still answer the call. Ask for guidance from the Voice of God.. Get myself out of the way. Unblock. And maybe even proceed in a fashion that seems unloving on the surface, but could be for the good of all. Tough one that is. And I certainly do not discount and cannot imagine my steadfast faith when confronted with familial prejudice and harsh judgment as some of your other readers have commented on Sean. I can only send them love and prayers and acceptance thru the ether. And also tell them they have provided me a service by rooting out my own fears and judgements (as have you). Thank you for the constant reminders thru your posts. I also thank your readers for that very same reminder. We go together, you and I.
Thank you, John. I appreciate this very much, and it tracks my own experience. Righteousness is an alluring trap - the idea that THIS judgment is right, that *I* have some special insight that allows me to dictate how the situation ought to go.
Tara Singh called this the lovelessness of I get it and you don't. It is so so hard to find a way past it because in the moment, as you point out, it seems so reasonable.
It's funny. I'm okay at recognizing ego when it's going bananas but when it adopts the rational reasonable voice . . . I just sort of fall in and go along.
Writing about it helps, and learning what others are experiencing helps as well. I am very grateful for everyone who reads and shares. We are in this together; we are all here working our way through the beguiling nightmare of specialness towards holiness.
Thank you again for sharing.
Sean
P.S. Thanks too for the Robert Perry piece you shared last week - I will respond to that - it was very timely and on point for some things I am working through.
Yes. When I realize that hatred/indifference/opposition is grounded in fear - whether it wears a mask of righteousness and theological superiority or not - then it becomes easier to move from judgment to forgiveness. I KNOW fear; I KNOW what it means to project fear rather than face it where it is, which is within my own heart and mind. For me, the hard part of this work is realizing the shared nature of the fear.
I could spin off in so many different directions in response to this ringing and provocative and affirming post. As a gay man who grew up the son of a Pentecostal minister/father and who spent the first three decades of my life hearing how ashamed I should be of who I was and how frightened I should be for my immortal soul, clearly--as you might guess--Pride has become a pivotal concept and a transforming shift in perspective and in how I live my life. And, to be honest, the parades and festivals, although important and cherished, haven't been nearly as transformational as just understanding that at the most basic level, 'pride' is simply the opposite of feeling ashamed and afraid. It was and is the soul-shattering notion that I am, in fact, innocent of the crimes or sins or failures which I and so many others have been accused of when we refuse to hide or apologize or deny who we are. And who we are is, very simply, the Sons (and Daughters) of God, welcome in God's Heaven and in the fellowship of his children, even if not in all the churches or other institutions who claim some sort of inside information about what He requires or demands or allows. Just a week ago I was privileged to sing with a men's choir at the Salt Lake City Pride festival. There was so much joy everywhere. So much acceptance of remarkable diversity. So much laughter and fun. Such an utter absence of judgment. Many would call me sacrilegious or even blasphemous but no one will ever convince me that God wasn't there, loving every single one of us--every single one of His children who were there to celebrate not being ashamed or guilty or wrong or rejected or condemned. Where else would He be? Thank you as always, Sean, for the Love of God that you extend to all of us who follow your journey.
Thank you for sharing, Dan. I really appreciate this, especially clarifying pride as the opposite of shame AND an affirmation of innocence. The recognition of innocence - in ourselves and in those we consider other than ourselves - is always joyful. The Love of God is our shared inheritance and the absence of exceptions to that Love is what confirms it AS Love.
Thank you for reading and being here and raising your voice in witness (and song). I'm grateful we share this path 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you for this, Sean. So timely as insightful as always. I am currently dealing with family members who have disparaged a vacation I have just returned from because my family and I went to see the musical Cabaret on Broadway. We found it beautiful and moving in its way, of course. There were pages and pages of hateful messages from our conservative Christian family about the harmfulness and sinfulness of homosexuality. It was awful and is a constant for us. The battle I face is with myself. I am so angry and tired of this. Their attacks do not stop. Clearly, my husband, daughter, and I have left the church and truly seek to embrace everyone. We don't want to cut ties, literally, with all of our parents and my husband's siblings and families, but they are all in this camp. Sometimes I don't know what to do or how to handle this constant barrage of hatred on these types of topics. We have left the room at family gatherings when the sermons begin. It's difficult and upsetting. We love them. They are our family and all have wonderful traits and generally good hearts. But they won't stop. I am thinking more and more that the loving thing to do is to set clear boundaries with them about how they address our personal business, but it's very difficult. They become angry when we reject or ignore their hatred of others. I think they would ultimately choose us over their need to be "right." Continuing to endure abuse is not a solution at all. If they can't stop themselves from unsolicited opinions, walking/ staying away with love in our hearts may be our only choice.
Thank you for sharing, Heidi. Those are difficult experiences, and it's not easy to navigate them. Boundaries are not a crime against God or nature, especially when they allow us to remain in communication with one another.
I have friends who would say to me, why didn't you interrupt the bishop? Why didn't you call on everyone in the room? What good is your little barely-noticeable protest?
And I think that's a good point! I think it asks me to think deeply about what love is, and how I am called to participate in bringing it forth in the world.
Walking out was the call; disruption was not. But I completely understand that for others, it might have been. And honestly, I would have their back on that.
I don't believe ACIM mandates a specific approach to the world. The form our learning takes is always personal. The fear that appears is never the other's fear but rather our shared fear; it is mine, too. When I remember this, there is some empathy. I am not called to condemn my brothers and sisters but to love them; most of what I am "called" by Jesus to do is about speaking my truth in ways that allow the lines of communication to remain open. It's not easy but it seems to be where I am meant to be right now.
And someone else is going to be in another place! And that, too, is okay.
All of which is to say, I hear you. I share that sense of frustration and confusion. And my own experience of ACIM teaches me to seek the path that welcomes all, even the ones who don't want to welcome me or my family, or other folks and their families. I don't know always know how to do this but moving gently in the direction of what sustains happiness and maximizes the potential for happiness in others does seem to be effective.
Thank you for being here, Heidi. I am grateful for your thoughtfulness and compassion.
~ Sean
Moving gently in the direction of what sustains happiness... I like that. Thanks again. We're trying.
🙏🙏
Reading this on a morning in which I am deeply disappointed in -- and ashamed of -- myself for harshly judging someone very close to me for a perceived shortcoming. I see quite clearly how my thoughts are not only unloving but also block the flow of love between us and how my ego seeks some unsolicited way to "help" this person change as a way to avoid changing my way of perceiving and projecting.
I have always considered myself a kind person but at this very moment, well, not so much. . .What you wrote about undoing our fear through whatever form it takes in the world resonates deeply. Your newsletter today was the kick in the butt I needed to look at my own deceptive and destructive "righteousness" and get on with the not-so-easy work of changing my thoughts rather than trying to change another so that I can find peace. (Like that ever works ) I am truly grateful for your words.
Thank you for sharing, Cheryl. As someone who routinely berates himself for falling short of this or that spiritual / psychological / political / etc ideal, don't be too hard on yourself. This stuff happens! And the reminder to come back to our practice - be it ACIM or Buddhism or CBT or whatever - is always a blessing.
I take to heart the idea that there are no accidents in salvation (M-3.1:6), especially in the context of relationship. The comments to this post suggest that some folks find it helpful - but I could never have written it if a) the Bishop had elected to deny rather than project his fear and b) all the Pride marchers had not elected to embrace rather than deny THEIR fear.
We are in this together, and it's messy and beautiful all at once.
And I know you know this: we have been teaching it to each other for years 🙏❤️🕊️
Love,
Sean
Thank you Sean, and yes, very timely. I always cover the Pride parade here in Puerto Vallarta as a photographer, and my young pre-teen daughter always accompanies me...sometimes I give her my second camera, but mostly it is an amazing time to spend time together and to feel the love and support of our local community for many who have been or have felt marginilized for much of their life. Yes, as a Course in Miracles student, but also as a father, it is important to me not only to learn but also to model the behaviour toward our brothers and sisters. We are none of us better but also none of us worse than any other. We are each of us that child of God who has been created perfect. Thank you Sean.
Thank you Josef - this is beautiful and clear. The Love that arises when we gather in the Name of Love is so beautiful and healing.Thank you for sharing and helping me learn. I am very grateful 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you , Sean for your truly loving reminders yes, it is about recognizing (knowing again) the “ radical depths of shared equality. “ I listened to a message this weekend of a lovely lady , a survivor of the holocaust, and she said acceptance of everyone as equals must happen. Calling each other into a state of acceptance is the Way.
Also Sean I am very grateful for the message, Nonduality, A Course in Miracles and What We Are in Truth. It opened the door with a light, expanding my understanding thank you
You're welcome, Janice. Yes - that is the way and I really like that phrasing - "calling each other into a state of acceptance." It's hard work! Judgment and rejection are so inherent in our experience. But ultimately it is the work of love and happiness, and there is no other way to a durable peace. Thanks for sharing the way. We can't do any of this alone.
And thanks, too, for the kinds words about that post. It was a long time coming 🙏🙏 It's here if anybody is interested:
https://seanreagan.com/nonduality-a-course-in-miracles-and-what-we-are-in-truth/
~ Sean
This article made me aware of all the resentments I hold toward others, which block me from love. I appreciate you helping me to "see differently", to help me loosened the chains of the world and be set free from fear. ♥️🙏
You're welcome, Glenda. Thank you for reading and sharing. Bringing those resentments to light is hard work - but ultimately liberating. And liberation = happiness 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Is it not always your belief your specialness is limited by your relationship? And is not this the enemy that makes you both illusions to each other?
The ear of God and of each other comes from each unrecognised belief in specialness. For each demands the other bow to it against his will and God Himself must honor it or suffer vengeance. 'Every twinge of malice or stab of hate or wish to separate arises here. *For here the purpose that you share becomes obscured from both of you. You would oppose this course because it teaches you you are alike. You have no purpose that is not the same, and none your Father does not share with you. For your relationship has been made clean of special goals. 'And would you now defeat the goal of holiness that Heaven gave it?
What perspective can the special have that does not change with every seeming blow, each slight or fancied judgment on itself? Those who are special must defend illusions against the truth. For what is specialness but an attack upon the will of God? You love your brother not while it is this you would defend against him. This is what he attacks and you protect. Here is the ground of battles which you wage against him. Here must he be your enemy and not your friend. Never can there be peace among the different. He is your friend because you are the same.
Chapter 24. I
The first chaotic law is that the three is different for everyone.
(Chapter 23 The Escape from Conflict
III The Laws of Chaos)
What protects madness is the belief that it is true.
Can you be content with an illusion that you are living?
The lack of faith in love, in any form, attests to chaos as reality.
Chapter 23
The truth ( not three)…sorry!
Right on! True! A great reminder to keep loving 'all' of them out there!
Thank-you!
Robyn
You're welcome, Robyn - thank you for sharing and being here 🙏🙏
This line says it all "Demonstrate a love that melts the fear of all who encounter it." Wouldn't this be absolutely amazing to actually experience 😍
we have to call it forth!!
Thanks for being here, Tricia. I hope all is well in over in Eire ☘️☘️
~ Sean
It's interesting to me that almost every time I have a "peace disruption" in my life it comes from my own judgement...no asking of guidance from the Holy Spirit. I side with the ego which, with great cleverness, tells me "well, how ELSE are you supposed to move forward, deal with, change something/someone else's mind without a judgment of the situation first?? Which usually ends up being a righteousness issue. One of the great destroyers of peace and love.
If I am then aware, I try to realize ⁹Without judgment are all men brothers, for who is there who stands apart? No teacher of God can judge and hope to learn" (Manual/Characteristics of God's Teachers/Tolerance). Those powerful words help me to realize what I am doing and, more importantly, what I want to be or get back to. Sure, the form of what is happening may be highly unacceptable to me or seemingly unloving towards me...but the content is still a call for love. What can I lovingly do, but still answer the call. Ask for guidance from the Voice of God.. Get myself out of the way. Unblock. And maybe even proceed in a fashion that seems unloving on the surface, but could be for the good of all. Tough one that is. And I certainly do not discount and cannot imagine my steadfast faith when confronted with familial prejudice and harsh judgment as some of your other readers have commented on Sean. I can only send them love and prayers and acceptance thru the ether. And also tell them they have provided me a service by rooting out my own fears and judgements (as have you). Thank you for the constant reminders thru your posts. I also thank your readers for that very same reminder. We go together, you and I.
John
Thank you, John. I appreciate this very much, and it tracks my own experience. Righteousness is an alluring trap - the idea that THIS judgment is right, that *I* have some special insight that allows me to dictate how the situation ought to go.
Tara Singh called this the lovelessness of I get it and you don't. It is so so hard to find a way past it because in the moment, as you point out, it seems so reasonable.
It's funny. I'm okay at recognizing ego when it's going bananas but when it adopts the rational reasonable voice . . . I just sort of fall in and go along.
Writing about it helps, and learning what others are experiencing helps as well. I am very grateful for everyone who reads and shares. We are in this together; we are all here working our way through the beguiling nightmare of specialness towards holiness.
Thank you again for sharing.
Sean
P.S. Thanks too for the Robert Perry piece you shared last week - I will respond to that - it was very timely and on point for some things I am working through.
Once again I am uplifted from the dross…let me remember this upon waking!
Love forgets nothing :)
~ Sean
Because we come from a place of love..we can absolutely forgive the hypocrisy of the church.
Yes. When I realize that hatred/indifference/opposition is grounded in fear - whether it wears a mask of righteousness and theological superiority or not - then it becomes easier to move from judgment to forgiveness. I KNOW fear; I KNOW what it means to project fear rather than face it where it is, which is within my own heart and mind. For me, the hard part of this work is realizing the shared nature of the fear.
Thank you for sharing and being here, Bruce 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Our work as ACIM students is to seek happiness by practicing Love. Drop the mic!
:)
Thanks for reading and sharing, Susan🙏🙏
~ Sean
❤️
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your insights are life giving.
You're welcome, Frank. Thank you for reading and sharing 🙏🙏
~ Sean