Finding out I was unhappy by choice, accidentally on purpose… what kind of sneaky behind the scenes dysfunctional bullshit is this? Yes, I was a world class mire wallower. Complicated animals we are. 😊
It seems to me that a great challenge to unhappiness is to see another reality behind such things as the death of a spouse or sibling, the loss of a beloved pet or the seeming daily Holocaust of the natural world. It helps me to step back, let go of what I think is happening (judgment), be quiet and still and in that stillness asking for a perception that brings some peace. I hope this is helpful to someone. I'd like to hear what others find helpful.
Thank you for sharing Tony. Releasing judgment to the extent possible is helpful, yes, as is a prayerful commitment to stillness and openness. That is my sense, too. Asking for a new way to see any situation - regardless of its seeming intensity or lack of intensity - is very much how I experience relationship with the Holy Spirit. It is also my experience that one can grieve deeply the loss of loved ones and other traumas here without becoming unhappy. Knowing what we are in truth - even just beginning to glimpse the truth of our identity - really shifts the value system away from fear and its effects. I appreciate your witness here 🙏🙏
Thank you for your response, especially writing that one can deeply grieve a loss without being unhappy. It's strange to me how I knew this, but was forgetting it. Thank you so much for the reminder.
Powerfully, beautifully, stratospherically expressed, Sean🕊️ I feel giddy anticipating this exhilarating "heaven all the way to Heaven" ...as dear Teresa of Avila proclaimed.
Thank you Sean, that is beautifully and crystal clearly written. I share all you have written here, but I have to be really really honest and very very very quiet to realise this. One ACIM teacher puts this down to our addiction to conflict. My prayer is please God help me to learn to be completely happy with happiness, peaceful with peace and joyful with joy.
Yes - addiction to conflict is a helpful way to frame it. And yet! Beyond our addiction - beyond our confusion - there is genuine light and love, and we are that! It's good that we can share this path and learn with each other. Thank you for being here, Aysin 🙏🙏
After reading " You are littering and you are denying that you are littering.", I felt a BIG "OUCH" ! I always love your wonderful pointers Sean. I really needed to be reminded of this today, very grateful . 🙏
You're welcome, Glenda. Thanks for reading and being here. Sorry for the ouch moment! But I've been there and will be again, no doubt. We're in good company :)
As I read your message I heard myself say “I never thought about that”. As I was facilitating ACIM I would share my experience of talking with another and as I heard them say “ I never thought about it that way”. I realized they had a change of thought- which is a CORRECTION of perception (thought) in ‘this’ world I see I would share with the group I had no idea what the change was or what precipitated the change because that was the Holy Spirit extending through me. Also in class we would discuss the “ This one single lesson learned will set you free from suffering what ever the form it takes. “ T- 27. VIII.11: 1 one lesson - I have done THIS THING… undo it.
When I read your message the room or my mind filled with light ! The river/trash example was the light switch. Unhappiness no matter the form I was doing to my self. I was committed to unhappiness. I would say Holy Spirit’s Vision is to see as in to Understand thank you. I acknowledge my commitment to unhappiness so now I also could begin to do the work of becoming happy. Truly there is no other work for us. Thank you Sean ❣️
I think that David Bohm has used the river analogy in a slightly different context but still in reference to thought. I have found it incredibly helpful over the years, and have modified it a bit. I'm glad you found it helpful. And yes, realizing that we are committed to unhappiness is very important. It's a cliche but still true - the first step is realizing we have a problem :)
Thanks for reading and being here, Janice. I'm very grateful.
Hi Sean, I am new to your posts, just found you today whilst researching material for a podcast I am making. I LOVE what you are doing, your clarity, your writing. So awesome! I just wanted to jump in here in response to the thread where you answered the question "Do you leave someone if they are abusing you, or do you just deal with it at the level of the mind..." For me it's obvious that you leave if abuse is going on that is clearly affecting your physical and mental wellbeing, but the question I have is, what if you are in a relationship with someone who is deeply in the addiction to unhappiness, not aware of it or wanting to be, and is blaming others constantly for their own suffering. As a dedicated ACIM student who is seeking earnestly to live a different way, how does one deal with this? Especially when you have a child together. Is this a case of leaving, or taking action at the level of the mind? I understand there probably isn't a 'one size fits all' answer here, but I just really wanted to hear your thoughts on this. All my love and thankyou in advance for all that you do and share.
A Course in Miracles is clear that the external world (which includes those in it) is an "outside picture of an inward condition" (T-21.in.1:4). This is an extension of the principle that "projection makes perception" (T-21.in.1:1).
Therefore, when I perceive a brother or sister who is addicted to or invested in unhappiness and insists that others are to blame and refuses to give attention to any of this, then I have projected onto them my OWN investment in unhappiness and my OWN willingness to hold others responsible for it.
The very fact that I am bothered at all by this unhappy person and the way in which they are handling it is itself a witness to my own unhappiness.
This shifts the nature of the seeming problem in two ways.
First, and most importantly, it means that I am the one who has to come to responsiblity for joy and inner peace. I am the one who has to give attention in ways that bring forth holiness rather than specialness.
In general, whatever I accuse my brother or sister of doing, is the very thing I am doing and denying I am doing. Projection is a defense against seeing this, and laying down the defense is the ONLY way to become happy again - for me AND my brother or sister. Why should they bear the burden of my fear and guilt?
. . . in defenselessness we stand secure, serenely certain of our safety now, sure of salvation; sure we will fulfill our chosen purpose, as our ministry extends its holy blessing through the world (W-pI.153.9:3).
The second thing that happens is that the relationship transforms because I am no longer using it to reinforce my own guilt and fear through projection and denial. This does NOT mean that the other changes! It means that MY mind changes, and because it does, the relationship changes as well. There is less guilt and fear in it; I can hear the Holy Spirit's guidance with respect to it; I am liberated from judgment and its effects and can remember again the cause for holiness.
This can take many forms, but my concern is not with the form. My concern is with the interior shift away from projection (which, yes, takes a miracle). Maybe I find a new way to be helpful for the other - advising or guiding them. Maybe I need to leave the relationship entirely, knowing the other is in God's hands. Perhaps their healing journey involves me and perhaps it doesn't. I am not in charge!
And maybe something else will happen that will totally surprise me. That is often my experience; the Holy Spirit guides me to be in relationship with others and the world in ways that are maximally helpful to ALL involved, which helpfulness always begins with my willingness to lay down my defenses and become open to the healing power of love.
It is a learning process that takes study, time, patience and a good sense of humor :)
Thank you again for reaching out, Susan. Please stay in touch if it is helpful or interesting.
Thanks Sean for answering this with such detail, I really appreciate your time and words. What stands out for me most is: "I am the one who has to give attention in ways that bring forth holiness rather than specialness." In my struggles with this relationship I can see that I have an investment in specialness through my investment in being RIGHT! lol. Next time I feel this coming up, I will do all I can to see through the projection my mind is generating, let down my defences, and let the H.S / grace through.
I'm aware of not wanting to take up more of your time, but it would be really helpful to me (and maybe some others reading this) if you could let us know what your process is when you realise your mind is projecting your own issue onto someone else... How do you switch your intention and consciousness and let this go in the moment?
Maybe you have already written on this and could send me the link to another post?
Once again, thanks so much for all that you do. Susan ...xxx
My practice is to notice when I am projecting. When I notice I am projecting, then the projection ends, and the responsibility shifts. Now it's on me, which is good because there is some power there. There is some creativity that can be accessed.
Projection is a defense. So the question is, against what was this projection a defense? And the work is to let the answer be given - not rush to supply an answer that I think will make my teacher happy or the dalai lama happy or whatever.
I just want to see clearly: what am I scared of here?
And I want to emphasize that this can take time - it can take dialogue, journaling, reflecting, going for a long walk alone, whatever.
It's really important to let the answer be given rather than to give it.
When at lsat I can see the fear clearly - I was projecting in this way on this person because I am afraid of THIS (which insight is FELT more than languaged), I practice compassion.
Noticing --> Inquiry --> Compassion
A Course in Miracles uses the analogy of a child. When a child is cared there's a monster under the bed, we don't lecture them about the unreality of monsters. We don't say, well, tough it out.
No, we snuggle up, we tell them stories, we look WITH them under the bed, whatever. We let them konw they are not alone. They are not with a monster - they are with one who loves and will not abandon them.
That is the compassion we offer ourselves because that is the compassion God offers us.
The appropriate response to fear is always compassion. Way down deep, there isn't a bunch of different fears, there is just fear. Fear of death, fear of love, fear of God. It doesn't matter. We face them all the same way: we take the hand of a brother and sister with whom we are in sustained spiritual dialogue and together we look at the fear.
They support us when we're trembling; we support them when they are.
We just keep coming to that, right? We just keep looking at the fear, nurturing relationships which support the healing work of looking at fear, and then just . . . let the healing happen.
And it does happen. It really does.
The further we get from projection, and the more we examine our fear, the more we learn that none of this is personal. It's not about "Sean" or "Susan." There is one fear, one life, one love. The correction that ACIM offers is just that: to see that what we thought was separated and many is unified and one.
That correction undoes the personal and removes from our mind the sense that something is at stake and it's up to us to solve it. We become increasingly still and happy, because we know the power of love is IN us but not OF us, and so there is nothing to do.
So: Noticing --> Inquiry --> Compassion and:
Compassion --> Relationship.
Not the special relationship - not the negotiated relationship, the relationship premised on getting this or that - but the holy relationship in which the goal is remembering our shared innocence. We don't do this work alone!
Argh thankyou Sean! I love this! I love to remember that a holy relationship is one with the goal of remembering our shared innocence. Here's a little quote that arose from my meditation on this whole projection thing... "Everything that annoys you, you have an investment in. Question the motives of that investment - where they are coming from, and let Love choose again, a choice that promotes inner peace." Thanks again Sean.
Thanks for being here, Susan. I love that inquiry - deconstruct the investment in order to remember the peace and love that naturally abide, awaiting the end of the smoke screen of the self. Yes!
What you write about is what always troubles me ACIM and that is this approach could lead to a person staying in an abusive relationship for years because they continually "blame" themselves and say the real trouble being experienced is simply a projection of my mind.
My experience of this teaching is that it is absolutely correct on one level of reality but in the world in which our bodies exist and things do go terribly wrong it can lead to leading with your chin that is naively continually "forgiving" someone who is really an abuser.
I sense the ACIM "answer" to this comment will be that the person actually wants to be abused because we create the world we live in which maybe accurate but still doesn't really help a person move differently in the world of bodies in which we exist.
I would love to have your comments on this because this has been a major source of confusion for me.
Thank you, Tom. It's a good question, an important one.
First, the canonical ACIM response (which is very useful).
All change occurs at the level of the mind; it may or may not be reflected in the world.
A Course in Miracles is clear that we should not deny the body or any experience incurred on its account (e.g., (T-2.IV.3:8, 10-11). If we are sick, we take medicine. If we are hungry, we eat. And if we are in a situation that poses a threat to our well-being, then we leave.
An important corollary is that we also HELP one another do these things. Works of Mercy are never not in order in our practice. There is no such thing as suffering alone. We only help our self.
So caring for the body - ours and others (broadly defined to include crayfish, giraffes and blades of grass) and, by extension, caring for the world - is never an error. It's never a failure. It doesn't violate any metaphysical or spiritual laws.
Even though, again, all cause is at the level of the mind, NOT the body and the world.
There is another aspect to your question that feels important. In my experience, when we realize the truth of "I am doing this to myself," then everything changes. It's no longer possible to hurt ourselves. We realize, however dimly, that only love becomes us and we begin to actively seek the interior clarity that brings that peace forward.
It's like when we no longer hold the other responsible for our problems, then our problem-solving capacity is suddenly enhanced a thousandfold. Things don't bother as much, and when they do, the "solution" is obvious and fluid. This is a reflection of the underlying principle that we HAVE no problems - we only think we do. It's fascinating how happy we become simply by refusing to accept unhappiness.
In my ACIM practice, there were many years when I intellectually understood and appreciated what ACIM was saying, but was more or less unwilling to apply it. I held the information at arm's length, used it to talk the walk (as they say), and that was that. I was still okay with unhappiness.
When the course is merely ideas - no matter how interesting or helpful - then we stagnate. This is why Tara Singh was so important to me. He insisted - demanded really - that I not accept mere intellectual understanding of the course. It took a while (I am a slow learner) but eventually I saw that we have to bring the course into application - we have to actually live it out in the context of separation.
So, again, when we realize - in a felt way, a radical way, like in a hit-by-a-truck way - the truth that we are the author of our suffering, then the interior changes. Our willingness to learn a new way of being merges with the Holy Spirit's unconditional offering of truth and love and it's like a thousand mirror balls go on all at once. It's like being given God's Manual for Inner Peace.
Life is different when we become responsible for joy, at the level we are talking about here.
In other words, I don't think it is possible to truly realize the "secret to salvation" and continue to suffer.
Finally, a story.
Many years ago I was invited to a religious ceremony by a friend. They had another friend they wanted me to meet, a fellow ACIM student.
After the night-long ceremony, over tea, I sat with this individul and we talked. Or rather, they talked. And all they wanted to talk about was ACIM and illusion. "When we get sick, it's an illusion." "When we win the lottery, it's an illusion." "When somebody slaps us, it's an illusion."
That example - being hit, being beaten, being abused - came up a LOT. I didn't feel confused. When we finished talking, I sought one of the elders in that community and told them my concerns, and they took it seriously. Long story short, there was an intervention, dialogue, and legal action. Things CHANGED.
A confused or insincere ACIM student might say that I "made the error real" in how I handled that situation. But those of us who've been on this path a while know that the Holy Spirit was with me - and with everyone involved - that weekend, and brought forth love in the very form in which was needed.
Thanks again for sharing, Tom. It's a nontrivial issue and I appreciate the chance to keep thinking aloud about it. I hope you're well.
Started the workbook lessons again. Interesting that lesson 26 is all about your post today. Coincidence? No, sir. Thank you, Sean.
I love those alignments! There are no accidents in salvation. And you're welcome, Kim - thank you for being here and for sharing 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you for your vision of the Course and it's primary message. Your writing is beautifully simple and yet practical.
Thank you for the kind words. And you're welcome, Susan. I'm glad you're here 🙏🙏
~ Sean
I'll Copy and paste on mirror. I'll Read daily. Thank you Sean!
You're welcome, Susan! Thanks for reading & sharing 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Finding out I was unhappy by choice, accidentally on purpose… what kind of sneaky behind the scenes dysfunctional bullshit is this? Yes, I was a world class mire wallower. Complicated animals we are. 😊
It's good when we can laugh at it . . . Thanks for being here, Carl 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Love this, Carl.
It seems to me that a great challenge to unhappiness is to see another reality behind such things as the death of a spouse or sibling, the loss of a beloved pet or the seeming daily Holocaust of the natural world. It helps me to step back, let go of what I think is happening (judgment), be quiet and still and in that stillness asking for a perception that brings some peace. I hope this is helpful to someone. I'd like to hear what others find helpful.
Thank you,
Tony
Thank you for sharing Tony. Releasing judgment to the extent possible is helpful, yes, as is a prayerful commitment to stillness and openness. That is my sense, too. Asking for a new way to see any situation - regardless of its seeming intensity or lack of intensity - is very much how I experience relationship with the Holy Spirit. It is also my experience that one can grieve deeply the loss of loved ones and other traumas here without becoming unhappy. Knowing what we are in truth - even just beginning to glimpse the truth of our identity - really shifts the value system away from fear and its effects. I appreciate your witness here 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Dear Sean, thank
Thank you for your response, especially writing that one can deeply grieve a loss without being unhappy. It's strange to me how I knew this, but was forgetting it. Thank you so much for the reminder.
🙏🙏
Powerfully, beautifully, stratospherically expressed, Sean🕊️ I feel giddy anticipating this exhilarating "heaven all the way to Heaven" ...as dear Teresa of Avila proclaimed.
Grateful Love and Love because Love,
Deborah
Thank you Deborah . . . I love that Teresa of Avila quote, what a mind . . . Thank you for being here and sharing the way 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you Sean, that is beautifully and crystal clearly written. I share all you have written here, but I have to be really really honest and very very very quiet to realise this. One ACIM teacher puts this down to our addiction to conflict. My prayer is please God help me to learn to be completely happy with happiness, peaceful with peace and joyful with joy.
Thank you 🙏🙏
Yes - addiction to conflict is a helpful way to frame it. And yet! Beyond our addiction - beyond our confusion - there is genuine light and love, and we are that! It's good that we can share this path and learn with each other. Thank you for being here, Aysin 🙏🙏
~ Sean
After reading " You are littering and you are denying that you are littering.", I felt a BIG "OUCH" ! I always love your wonderful pointers Sean. I really needed to be reminded of this today, very grateful . 🙏
You're welcome, Glenda. Thanks for reading and being here. Sorry for the ouch moment! But I've been there and will be again, no doubt. We're in good company :)
~ Sean
A willingness to hear, a humbleness to accept; that is my prayer today.
I’m ready to start this day.
Thank You Sean.
You're welcome, Annie. Thanks for reading and being here. I hope all is well!
~ Sean
Janice
As I read your message I heard myself say “I never thought about that”. As I was facilitating ACIM I would share my experience of talking with another and as I heard them say “ I never thought about it that way”. I realized they had a change of thought- which is a CORRECTION of perception (thought) in ‘this’ world I see I would share with the group I had no idea what the change was or what precipitated the change because that was the Holy Spirit extending through me. Also in class we would discuss the “ This one single lesson learned will set you free from suffering what ever the form it takes. “ T- 27. VIII.11: 1 one lesson - I have done THIS THING… undo it.
When I read your message the room or my mind filled with light ! The river/trash example was the light switch. Unhappiness no matter the form I was doing to my self. I was committed to unhappiness. I would say Holy Spirit’s Vision is to see as in to Understand thank you. I acknowledge my commitment to unhappiness so now I also could begin to do the work of becoming happy. Truly there is no other work for us. Thank you Sean ❣️
I think that David Bohm has used the river analogy in a slightly different context but still in reference to thought. I have found it incredibly helpful over the years, and have modified it a bit. I'm glad you found it helpful. And yes, realizing that we are committed to unhappiness is very important. It's a cliche but still true - the first step is realizing we have a problem :)
Thanks for reading and being here, Janice. I'm very grateful.
~ Sean
Thank you Sean, so well written, truly opening that well-hidden truth that touches us all.
You're welcome Josef! Thank you for being here and sharing the light 🙏🙏
~ Sean
How do you it Sean, show up when I need it most?.Thank you so much for this!!❤️❤️
No accidents in salvation! Thank you for reading and being here, Jennifer 🙏🙏 I'm very grateful we share this path.
~ Sean
Thank you. Xx
🙏🙏
Hi Sean, I am new to your posts, just found you today whilst researching material for a podcast I am making. I LOVE what you are doing, your clarity, your writing. So awesome! I just wanted to jump in here in response to the thread where you answered the question "Do you leave someone if they are abusing you, or do you just deal with it at the level of the mind..." For me it's obvious that you leave if abuse is going on that is clearly affecting your physical and mental wellbeing, but the question I have is, what if you are in a relationship with someone who is deeply in the addiction to unhappiness, not aware of it or wanting to be, and is blaming others constantly for their own suffering. As a dedicated ACIM student who is seeking earnestly to live a different way, how does one deal with this? Especially when you have a child together. Is this a case of leaving, or taking action at the level of the mind? I understand there probably isn't a 'one size fits all' answer here, but I just really wanted to hear your thoughts on this. All my love and thankyou in advance for all that you do and share.
Good morning, Susan. Thank you for reaching out.
A Course in Miracles is clear that the external world (which includes those in it) is an "outside picture of an inward condition" (T-21.in.1:4). This is an extension of the principle that "projection makes perception" (T-21.in.1:1).
Therefore, when I perceive a brother or sister who is addicted to or invested in unhappiness and insists that others are to blame and refuses to give attention to any of this, then I have projected onto them my OWN investment in unhappiness and my OWN willingness to hold others responsible for it.
The very fact that I am bothered at all by this unhappy person and the way in which they are handling it is itself a witness to my own unhappiness.
This shifts the nature of the seeming problem in two ways.
First, and most importantly, it means that I am the one who has to come to responsiblity for joy and inner peace. I am the one who has to give attention in ways that bring forth holiness rather than specialness.
In general, whatever I accuse my brother or sister of doing, is the very thing I am doing and denying I am doing. Projection is a defense against seeing this, and laying down the defense is the ONLY way to become happy again - for me AND my brother or sister. Why should they bear the burden of my fear and guilt?
. . . in defenselessness we stand secure, serenely certain of our safety now, sure of salvation; sure we will fulfill our chosen purpose, as our ministry extends its holy blessing through the world (W-pI.153.9:3).
The second thing that happens is that the relationship transforms because I am no longer using it to reinforce my own guilt and fear through projection and denial. This does NOT mean that the other changes! It means that MY mind changes, and because it does, the relationship changes as well. There is less guilt and fear in it; I can hear the Holy Spirit's guidance with respect to it; I am liberated from judgment and its effects and can remember again the cause for holiness.
This can take many forms, but my concern is not with the form. My concern is with the interior shift away from projection (which, yes, takes a miracle). Maybe I find a new way to be helpful for the other - advising or guiding them. Maybe I need to leave the relationship entirely, knowing the other is in God's hands. Perhaps their healing journey involves me and perhaps it doesn't. I am not in charge!
And maybe something else will happen that will totally surprise me. That is often my experience; the Holy Spirit guides me to be in relationship with others and the world in ways that are maximally helpful to ALL involved, which helpfulness always begins with my willingness to lay down my defenses and become open to the healing power of love.
It is a learning process that takes study, time, patience and a good sense of humor :)
Thank you again for reaching out, Susan. Please stay in touch if it is helpful or interesting.
~ Sean
Thanks Sean for answering this with such detail, I really appreciate your time and words. What stands out for me most is: "I am the one who has to give attention in ways that bring forth holiness rather than specialness." In my struggles with this relationship I can see that I have an investment in specialness through my investment in being RIGHT! lol. Next time I feel this coming up, I will do all I can to see through the projection my mind is generating, let down my defences, and let the H.S / grace through.
I'm aware of not wanting to take up more of your time, but it would be really helpful to me (and maybe some others reading this) if you could let us know what your process is when you realise your mind is projecting your own issue onto someone else... How do you switch your intention and consciousness and let this go in the moment?
Maybe you have already written on this and could send me the link to another post?
Once again, thanks so much for all that you do. Susan ...xxx
Hi Susan,
My practice is to notice when I am projecting. When I notice I am projecting, then the projection ends, and the responsibility shifts. Now it's on me, which is good because there is some power there. There is some creativity that can be accessed.
Projection is a defense. So the question is, against what was this projection a defense? And the work is to let the answer be given - not rush to supply an answer that I think will make my teacher happy or the dalai lama happy or whatever.
I just want to see clearly: what am I scared of here?
And I want to emphasize that this can take time - it can take dialogue, journaling, reflecting, going for a long walk alone, whatever.
It's really important to let the answer be given rather than to give it.
When at lsat I can see the fear clearly - I was projecting in this way on this person because I am afraid of THIS (which insight is FELT more than languaged), I practice compassion.
Noticing --> Inquiry --> Compassion
A Course in Miracles uses the analogy of a child. When a child is cared there's a monster under the bed, we don't lecture them about the unreality of monsters. We don't say, well, tough it out.
No, we snuggle up, we tell them stories, we look WITH them under the bed, whatever. We let them konw they are not alone. They are not with a monster - they are with one who loves and will not abandon them.
That is the compassion we offer ourselves because that is the compassion God offers us.
The appropriate response to fear is always compassion. Way down deep, there isn't a bunch of different fears, there is just fear. Fear of death, fear of love, fear of God. It doesn't matter. We face them all the same way: we take the hand of a brother and sister with whom we are in sustained spiritual dialogue and together we look at the fear.
They support us when we're trembling; we support them when they are.
We just keep coming to that, right? We just keep looking at the fear, nurturing relationships which support the healing work of looking at fear, and then just . . . let the healing happen.
And it does happen. It really does.
The further we get from projection, and the more we examine our fear, the more we learn that none of this is personal. It's not about "Sean" or "Susan." There is one fear, one life, one love. The correction that ACIM offers is just that: to see that what we thought was separated and many is unified and one.
That correction undoes the personal and removes from our mind the sense that something is at stake and it's up to us to solve it. We become increasingly still and happy, because we know the power of love is IN us but not OF us, and so there is nothing to do.
So: Noticing --> Inquiry --> Compassion and:
Compassion --> Relationship.
Not the special relationship - not the negotiated relationship, the relationship premised on getting this or that - but the holy relationship in which the goal is remembering our shared innocence. We don't do this work alone!
Thank you, Susan, for sharing this light with me.
~ Sean
Argh thankyou Sean! I love this! I love to remember that a holy relationship is one with the goal of remembering our shared innocence. Here's a little quote that arose from my meditation on this whole projection thing... "Everything that annoys you, you have an investment in. Question the motives of that investment - where they are coming from, and let Love choose again, a choice that promotes inner peace." Thanks again Sean.
Thanks for being here, Susan. I love that inquiry - deconstruct the investment in order to remember the peace and love that naturally abide, awaiting the end of the smoke screen of the self. Yes!
❤️
What you write about is what always troubles me ACIM and that is this approach could lead to a person staying in an abusive relationship for years because they continually "blame" themselves and say the real trouble being experienced is simply a projection of my mind.
My experience of this teaching is that it is absolutely correct on one level of reality but in the world in which our bodies exist and things do go terribly wrong it can lead to leading with your chin that is naively continually "forgiving" someone who is really an abuser.
I sense the ACIM "answer" to this comment will be that the person actually wants to be abused because we create the world we live in which maybe accurate but still doesn't really help a person move differently in the world of bodies in which we exist.
I would love to have your comments on this because this has been a major source of confusion for me.
Thanks Sean,
Tom
Thank you, Tom. It's a good question, an important one.
First, the canonical ACIM response (which is very useful).
All change occurs at the level of the mind; it may or may not be reflected in the world.
A Course in Miracles is clear that we should not deny the body or any experience incurred on its account (e.g., (T-2.IV.3:8, 10-11). If we are sick, we take medicine. If we are hungry, we eat. And if we are in a situation that poses a threat to our well-being, then we leave.
An important corollary is that we also HELP one another do these things. Works of Mercy are never not in order in our practice. There is no such thing as suffering alone. We only help our self.
So caring for the body - ours and others (broadly defined to include crayfish, giraffes and blades of grass) and, by extension, caring for the world - is never an error. It's never a failure. It doesn't violate any metaphysical or spiritual laws.
Even though, again, all cause is at the level of the mind, NOT the body and the world.
There is another aspect to your question that feels important. In my experience, when we realize the truth of "I am doing this to myself," then everything changes. It's no longer possible to hurt ourselves. We realize, however dimly, that only love becomes us and we begin to actively seek the interior clarity that brings that peace forward.
It's like when we no longer hold the other responsible for our problems, then our problem-solving capacity is suddenly enhanced a thousandfold. Things don't bother as much, and when they do, the "solution" is obvious and fluid. This is a reflection of the underlying principle that we HAVE no problems - we only think we do. It's fascinating how happy we become simply by refusing to accept unhappiness.
In my ACIM practice, there were many years when I intellectually understood and appreciated what ACIM was saying, but was more or less unwilling to apply it. I held the information at arm's length, used it to talk the walk (as they say), and that was that. I was still okay with unhappiness.
When the course is merely ideas - no matter how interesting or helpful - then we stagnate. This is why Tara Singh was so important to me. He insisted - demanded really - that I not accept mere intellectual understanding of the course. It took a while (I am a slow learner) but eventually I saw that we have to bring the course into application - we have to actually live it out in the context of separation.
So, again, when we realize - in a felt way, a radical way, like in a hit-by-a-truck way - the truth that we are the author of our suffering, then the interior changes. Our willingness to learn a new way of being merges with the Holy Spirit's unconditional offering of truth and love and it's like a thousand mirror balls go on all at once. It's like being given God's Manual for Inner Peace.
Life is different when we become responsible for joy, at the level we are talking about here.
In other words, I don't think it is possible to truly realize the "secret to salvation" and continue to suffer.
Finally, a story.
Many years ago I was invited to a religious ceremony by a friend. They had another friend they wanted me to meet, a fellow ACIM student.
After the night-long ceremony, over tea, I sat with this individul and we talked. Or rather, they talked. And all they wanted to talk about was ACIM and illusion. "When we get sick, it's an illusion." "When we win the lottery, it's an illusion." "When somebody slaps us, it's an illusion."
That example - being hit, being beaten, being abused - came up a LOT. I didn't feel confused. When we finished talking, I sought one of the elders in that community and told them my concerns, and they took it seriously. Long story short, there was an intervention, dialogue, and legal action. Things CHANGED.
A confused or insincere ACIM student might say that I "made the error real" in how I handled that situation. But those of us who've been on this path a while know that the Holy Spirit was with me - and with everyone involved - that weekend, and brought forth love in the very form in which was needed.
Thanks again for sharing, Tom. It's a nontrivial issue and I appreciate the chance to keep thinking aloud about it. I hope you're well.
~ Sean
Thanks Sean - very helpful explanation.
Wow Sean, that reply was magnificent, very helpful . Thank you for taking the time to fully explain Tom's question. 🙏
🙏🙏