Dear Sean, In rereading this gem I see how elements of your story are applicable to talkers (and writers?) as well as drivers. I don’t like it when I’m speaking or thinking out loud and someone cuts me off with their own words and thoughts, or doesn’t listen, or doesn’t listen as well as I’d like them to. But I’ve surely cut many people off with my words in this lifetime—sometimes intentionally, even smartassedly, sometimes unknowingly, and at times even recklessly as to cause a mess of a wreck. Likewise, I’ve followed others too closely, riding their bumper if you will, eager to interject whatever pressing opinion I’m compelled to put forth. (Where did attentive listening go?) And in slowing down to look at these matter more closely of late, I realize I’m capable of doing all of this without even opening my mouth! I cut others off in my mind and heart in any number of ways—all the while the small self believing she’s noble for holding her tongue. What a lonely place to bear.
Also, your teaching today reminds me somehow of “To Know the Dark” by Wendell Berry.
Susanna! Thank you for this gem of a comment :) It resonates, though I suspect you know this 🙏🙏
And thanks, too, for bringing Wendell Berry into it. I have been thinking about his work lately. Of the handful of poets I read closely in my twenties (before I toppled headlong into Dickinson, then into sentences), he is the one I have not yet revisited in a sustained way. I heard him read one time - my father and I went to hear him in Amherst - and he read this poem. It's a good memory.
I have always read that poem as an invitation to discover that what we exile unto darkness and fear is kin, and if we can reach the darkness, then we will find something familiar. Is this true? I go into the shadows of me and find a killer - how shall I respond to this? What is Berry asking of me?
Speaking of Dickinson, I was thinking of this poem of hers the other day and now wonder if it wasn't informing this post. "We grow accustomed to the dark" has haunted me for years, especially the last stanza.
Either the Darkness alters—
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight—
And Life steps almost straight.
Anyway, thank you for prodding my thinking in helpful ways. I hope all is well, light and dark in all the right balances.
Well Sean, I too “go into the shadows of me” and find awful stuff there I’d rather not deal with, including my own roots of “a killer.” But could it be that each one of us shields such a killer in those shadows? Thich Nhat Hanh appears to point to this in his poem “Please Call Me by My True Names.” My own shadowy characters are persistent inescapable teachers, have energy, belong. There's reluctance, even resistance at times (no joke), to bring them into consciousness. If I don’t learn from them, trouble follows and separation ensues.
Something in Berry’s poem is echoed in Coleman Bark’s translation of Hakim Sanai’s “The Good Darkness” -- “There is great joy in darkness. Deepen it. Blushing embarrassments in the half-light confuse … Deeper down, where your face gets erased, where life-water runs silently, there’s a prison with no food and drink, and no moral instruction, that opens on a garden where there’s only God.”
As for Emily, well, per usual there’s so much to ponder in her lines. I don’t know what’s happening when “the Dark” (singular) shifts to “larger Darknesses” (plural) in her poem. And is “the Neighbor” her literal beloved neighbor S. Gilbert? Or is it any one of us readers who comes across these lines? Overall, the poem itself is a depressive read for me (and feels personal to Emily) but I am surely no scholar of her or her work. I will follow your advice and not mess with her ;)
In any case, thanks for all the reflection you generate with your helpful essays!
Hi, Sean - I’m glad you’re back, or was it me that left? 🤔. Either way, this post makes me remember why I enjoy reading you so much. You really dig into the deeper message of the Course that so many of us miss. Thank you, thank you! ❤️❤️
Thank you for reminding me how CLOSELY I have to watch my mind. And as Michael Singer says, “You CAN watch your mind every second, because you have no problem watching other people’s actions every second.”
Such a raw and honest post! Allowing the dark side is the mastery we all seek. Every day I catch myself in the endless loop of judging how "others" are wrong. My hot button is main stream media propaganda. I guarantee myself narratives from a box on the wall will fuel my anger. My husband must hear my version of terrifying stories about our loss of freedom. I rail righteously against whatever politician is selfishly failing his duties. Only after sufficient venting do I silently reprimand myself for thinking the enemy is "out there". In the moments of enjoyable rant "they" should just be loving and honest like my virtuous self. Then the world would be a beautiful place. Repeatedly I rob myself of peaceful oneness. My judgement is always poison. I rip away any sense of Being the Love I actually KNOW we are. Over and over I tumble into the spiraling abyss of perpetual misery caused by judgement. I fail at "Oneness". I must acknowledge I keep seeing "Other" and believing "Other" is real. So I begin again, recognizing Separation is still my base reality. In dozens of moments weekly I chastise myself for imagining I live in despair because the world is so troubled. The world won't listen to the separate me. I commit violence against "Ourself" through my incessant judgement.
Thank you for this Susan - as I'm sure you know, I resonate with all of it. We are so hungry for opportunities to relive and repeat and reinforce our mistaken belief in separation. It's exhausting and unnecessary. Yet I think our honesty and our willingness - and remembering we are not alone but go with friends - can truly be helpful. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. I'm very grateful 🙏🙏
This was so informative and honest. l like the way you have described the multi levels of jealousy when seen with the Holy Spirit and the way in which he makes seeing, such a healing process -
Thanks, Jayney - yes, as you know, it is the "done with love" part that the Holy Spirit handles - which we cannot - and which makes this work healing rather than just self-indulgent (or even masochistic) navel-gazing. 🙏🙏
Thank for making me laugh Buddy! "We are communal animals; not killing each other is positive. So yes. Definitely do that." I need this reminder often!
Your 'Me and My Anger' couldn't have come at a better time for me. I've been dealing with a misdiagnosed health issue that nearly killed my body. My anger was overwhelming even though I sprinkled the situation with ACIM forgiveness, like you did with the offending driver. Nope, not gonna' work as long as I see myself in the separation and not the oneness of us all. Sometimes I need a whack with a 2x4 on the side of the head to bring me back to the truth. I thank you Sean for doing just that. I had forgotten that peace is my only goal and I cannot walk in peace unless I hold the hands of all my brothers.
And yeah, it's a real bear to discover that we are not as far along as we think. But on the other hand, we are in good company
I hear you on the 2x4's - I need them too. Peace IS my only goal, and when I remember that, holding hands and walking together in salvation becomes easier and easier.
I'm glad you're here, April - and glad we can remind each other what we're doing 🙏🙏
Thank you Sean, you always hit the nail right on the head for me. In the early years of studying ACIM my ego would pat me on the back for being the “better person” bc I forgave. It isn’t as fond of me when the Holy Spirit takes my hand and says “Your brother is your savior bc he is you”. Forgiveness is important yes, but not as important as seeing yourself in everyone else and forgiving yourself.
I wear a wristband that says on one side “choose once again” T-31.Vlll.5 and the other side “I want to see differently” Lesson 28.
Those 2 phrases remind me that I haven’t sinned by being judgmental, it was just an error in my thought system that needs adjusting. Little by little correction leads to sanity and peace. Love to you Sean and thank you for helping us remember.
Dear Sean, In rereading this gem I see how elements of your story are applicable to talkers (and writers?) as well as drivers. I don’t like it when I’m speaking or thinking out loud and someone cuts me off with their own words and thoughts, or doesn’t listen, or doesn’t listen as well as I’d like them to. But I’ve surely cut many people off with my words in this lifetime—sometimes intentionally, even smartassedly, sometimes unknowingly, and at times even recklessly as to cause a mess of a wreck. Likewise, I’ve followed others too closely, riding their bumper if you will, eager to interject whatever pressing opinion I’m compelled to put forth. (Where did attentive listening go?) And in slowing down to look at these matter more closely of late, I realize I’m capable of doing all of this without even opening my mouth! I cut others off in my mind and heart in any number of ways—all the while the small self believing she’s noble for holding her tongue. What a lonely place to bear.
Also, your teaching today reminds me somehow of “To Know the Dark” by Wendell Berry.
With love and well wishes,
Susanna.
Susanna! Thank you for this gem of a comment :) It resonates, though I suspect you know this 🙏🙏
And thanks, too, for bringing Wendell Berry into it. I have been thinking about his work lately. Of the handful of poets I read closely in my twenties (before I toppled headlong into Dickinson, then into sentences), he is the one I have not yet revisited in a sustained way. I heard him read one time - my father and I went to hear him in Amherst - and he read this poem. It's a good memory.
I have always read that poem as an invitation to discover that what we exile unto darkness and fear is kin, and if we can reach the darkness, then we will find something familiar. Is this true? I go into the shadows of me and find a killer - how shall I respond to this? What is Berry asking of me?
Speaking of Dickinson, I was thinking of this poem of hers the other day and now wonder if it wasn't informing this post. "We grow accustomed to the dark" has haunted me for years, especially the last stanza.
Either the Darkness alters—
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight—
And Life steps almost straight.
Anyway, thank you for prodding my thinking in helpful ways. I hope all is well, light and dark in all the right balances.
Love,
Sean
Well Sean, I too “go into the shadows of me” and find awful stuff there I’d rather not deal with, including my own roots of “a killer.” But could it be that each one of us shields such a killer in those shadows? Thich Nhat Hanh appears to point to this in his poem “Please Call Me by My True Names.” My own shadowy characters are persistent inescapable teachers, have energy, belong. There's reluctance, even resistance at times (no joke), to bring them into consciousness. If I don’t learn from them, trouble follows and separation ensues.
Something in Berry’s poem is echoed in Coleman Bark’s translation of Hakim Sanai’s “The Good Darkness” -- “There is great joy in darkness. Deepen it. Blushing embarrassments in the half-light confuse … Deeper down, where your face gets erased, where life-water runs silently, there’s a prison with no food and drink, and no moral instruction, that opens on a garden where there’s only God.”
As for Emily, well, per usual there’s so much to ponder in her lines. I don’t know what’s happening when “the Dark” (singular) shifts to “larger Darknesses” (plural) in her poem. And is “the Neighbor” her literal beloved neighbor S. Gilbert? Or is it any one of us readers who comes across these lines? Overall, the poem itself is a depressive read for me (and feels personal to Emily) but I am surely no scholar of her or her work. I will follow your advice and not mess with her ;)
In any case, thanks for all the reflection you generate with your helpful essays!
Love, Susanna
Hi, Sean - I’m glad you’re back, or was it me that left? 🤔. Either way, this post makes me remember why I enjoy reading you so much. You really dig into the deeper message of the Course that so many of us miss. Thank you, thank you! ❤️❤️
Who knows? We're here now :) Thanks for the kind words, Aleta. I appreciate them very much and am grateful we get to share this path 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you for reminding me how CLOSELY I have to watch my mind. And as Michael Singer says, “You CAN watch your mind every second, because you have no problem watching other people’s actions every second.”
LOL - I love that quote - thank you for sharing it! And thanks for reading and being here, Dena 🙏🙏
Such a raw and honest post! Allowing the dark side is the mastery we all seek. Every day I catch myself in the endless loop of judging how "others" are wrong. My hot button is main stream media propaganda. I guarantee myself narratives from a box on the wall will fuel my anger. My husband must hear my version of terrifying stories about our loss of freedom. I rail righteously against whatever politician is selfishly failing his duties. Only after sufficient venting do I silently reprimand myself for thinking the enemy is "out there". In the moments of enjoyable rant "they" should just be loving and honest like my virtuous self. Then the world would be a beautiful place. Repeatedly I rob myself of peaceful oneness. My judgement is always poison. I rip away any sense of Being the Love I actually KNOW we are. Over and over I tumble into the spiraling abyss of perpetual misery caused by judgement. I fail at "Oneness". I must acknowledge I keep seeing "Other" and believing "Other" is real. So I begin again, recognizing Separation is still my base reality. In dozens of moments weekly I chastise myself for imagining I live in despair because the world is so troubled. The world won't listen to the separate me. I commit violence against "Ourself" through my incessant judgement.
Thank you for this Susan - as I'm sure you know, I resonate with all of it. We are so hungry for opportunities to relive and repeat and reinforce our mistaken belief in separation. It's exhausting and unnecessary. Yet I think our honesty and our willingness - and remembering we are not alone but go with friends - can truly be helpful. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. I'm very grateful 🙏🙏
Ahah. The ego at it again - "It wasn’t forgiveness - it was rage hiding its motives." Thanks for the consistent reminders Sean.
Thank YOU Claudia . . . Always grateful to remember that we are sharing this path 🙏🙏
This was so informative and honest. l like the way you have described the multi levels of jealousy when seen with the Holy Spirit and the way in which he makes seeing, such a healing process -
because it is done with love.
Jayney
Thanks, Jayney - yes, as you know, it is the "done with love" part that the Holy Spirit handles - which we cannot - and which makes this work healing rather than just self-indulgent (or even masochistic) navel-gazing. 🙏🙏
What an impactful, healing post.
Praise be to God🙏
Thank you ! That was very helpful!
You're welcome, Barbara. Thank you for reading and being here. I'm very grateful 🙏🙏
Thank for making me laugh Buddy! "We are communal animals; not killing each other is positive. So yes. Definitely do that." I need this reminder often!
Me too Larry :) I'm glad we're not alone with it 🙏
Your 'Me and My Anger' couldn't have come at a better time for me. I've been dealing with a misdiagnosed health issue that nearly killed my body. My anger was overwhelming even though I sprinkled the situation with ACIM forgiveness, like you did with the offending driver. Nope, not gonna' work as long as I see myself in the separation and not the oneness of us all. Sometimes I need a whack with a 2x4 on the side of the head to bring me back to the truth. I thank you Sean for doing just that. I had forgotten that peace is my only goal and I cannot walk in peace unless I hold the hands of all my brothers.
Hi April,
First, I hope that you are well :)
And yeah, it's a real bear to discover that we are not as far along as we think. But on the other hand, we are in good company
I hear you on the 2x4's - I need them too. Peace IS my only goal, and when I remember that, holding hands and walking together in salvation becomes easier and easier.
I'm glad you're here, April - and glad we can remind each other what we're doing 🙏🙏
Love,
Sean
Thank you Sean, you always hit the nail right on the head for me. In the early years of studying ACIM my ego would pat me on the back for being the “better person” bc I forgave. It isn’t as fond of me when the Holy Spirit takes my hand and says “Your brother is your savior bc he is you”. Forgiveness is important yes, but not as important as seeing yourself in everyone else and forgiving yourself.
I wear a wristband that says on one side “choose once again” T-31.Vlll.5 and the other side “I want to see differently” Lesson 28.
Those 2 phrases remind me that I haven’t sinned by being judgmental, it was just an error in my thought system that needs adjusting. Little by little correction leads to sanity and peace. Love to you Sean and thank you for helping us remember.
Love right back to you Dee and thanks for being here 🙏🙏 I love that wristband!!