In two weeks, my brother and sister in law will be visiting from out of town. I am apprehensive. He is all-in on the chaos transpiring in the USA, believing the deception that this short term pain, will produce long term gains. I don’t believe that for a second, nor does my wife/his sister, but that’s the reality he lives in. Who knows, maybe history will show that he’s right and I’m wrong… but I don’t think so.
He and I have already had several discussions over the years about our differing views, sometimes on the edge of anger, but most times stopping short of that. We both agree that each of us thinks we’re right, and acknowledge we are at a perpetual impasse. It’s all so difficult for me to accept and understand, but this is where the world is at right now, not only in this country, but sadly and scarily, in a growing number of societies around the world.
So, in anticipation of this visit, I’m doing my best to mentally prepare to set my intention to remain calm and loving. As this, and your other posts constantly remind me, this is the only way forward. I will continue to actively promote compassion, inclusion, and democratic values in the world, as I believe activism is still called for given these circumstances of the day, but one-on-one, try to heal the hot mess by remaining friendly.
You're welcome, Tom - thank you for sharing and being here.
I identify so much with this - my day-to-day life puts me in contact often with folks with whom I disagree in profound ways. It is an ongoing challenge to understand how to respond and be in relationship with them.
I am a learner with a long way to go.
I want to point to a sentence in my post and use it somewhat out of context here. The course says that we are too comfortable passively condoning our mind's miscreations - yet, critically, "the particular result does not matter, but the fundamental error does" (T-2.VI.4:7).
The course is inviting me to let go of specific outcomes and instead focus on my own willingness to not be responsible for peace and happiness.
The suggestion is, I am confused about what's going on - my confusion (or ignorance) is causes me and others pain - and so MY work is to clear up that confusion and ignorance.
I spend a lot of my time bringing specific issues to the Holy Spirit in what I think is consistent with a long tradition of Christian contemplative prayer. "Here is the issue as I see it - can you help me see it more clearly?"
And then I sit quietly, eyes closed, and with all my heart give sustained attention only to the still small voice within that ALWAYS testifies on behalf of healing.
And that's it. That's the whole ballgame. Because if I can correct the underlying confusion (or the "fundamental error" as the course calls it) then the particular circumstance - the neighbor celebrating a Measles outbreak or the co-worker saying who cares how many kids die of AIDS in Africa - stops vexing me so much. I KNOW what to do - even if "what to do" is simply to just say "thank you for sharing" and walk away.
Also? It's okay to make mistakes, even apparently big ones. The Holy Spirit is VERY adept at using my mistakes to bring forth healing.
The deeper I go into my confusion, the more I realize it is not MY confusion but OUR confusion (and then, ultimately, simply confusion). And the particular circumstance or outcome really does fade away then because it's clear that the real problem is collective amnesia about our oneness, our connectedness.
I am so grateful for those glimpses - those gifts - of Love.
And I have so much gratitude for women and men like you who just keep returning to the difficulties, over and over, determined to find a way through the fear to love, no matter what. Thank you for bearing witness and reminding me I'm not alone (and for inspiring Susan to share her thoughts, which I think are fantastic, as always).
Thank you again for being here, Tom. It means a lot.
Hi Tom - having been through a similar situation, I can say that seeing your brother as God created him - as a light may help you to remain calm. Often a smile, silence, or a simple "thanks for sharing" can diffuse a situation. I have allowed others to speak their minds (remember they may unknowingly be afraid too) and just be present to listen. They often move on once they've said their piece. Picturing myself "above the battleground" takes "me" out of the equation. I don't need to comment; I just need to be there as another human being. Miracles happened for me this way. I hope they will for you too.
Tom, when this happens to me... I just politely listen and not say anything or at least not much. In my mind I am saying, "I would rather be happy than right". I have found those people think you are agreeing with them... and most of the time, that doesn't matter.
So beautifully said. As scary as the world is appearing I am reminded there is no hierarchy of illusions and that the answer is always Love and its expression in whatever way that it is possible to extend in the now moment and to whom ever it is possible to give. ❤sending love hugs and blessings to our Earthly family
I have recently been reminded of the importance of the first five lessons in the workbook.
1. Nothing I see means anything.
2. I have given everything all the meaning it has for me.
3. I do not understand anything I see.
4. These thoughts do not mean anything.
5. I am never upset for the reason I think.
They are a reminder to me that I have built an unreal world. A world of illusion. What I see on TV or in the Newspaper is not the real world. If I do get a bit caught up in the insanity of the illusion I remind myself that my thoughts are not my real thoughts and that they are meaningless. Easier said than done for sure. My wife is a fellow student so at times we do have a laugh about it all.
You're welcome, Peter. Thank you for being here and sharing. Yeah, those first early lessons are actually quite profound and beautiful - simple enough compared to some of the later material but definitely powerful.
Your sharings always help me open to Love, beyond all the resistances that arise. You show me and guide me to live my function, to Be the Light of the world. I feel such Gratitude 🙏🙏🙏
Sean, once again, thanks for your post. You said, "questions like: what am I doing in each and every relationship in my life that reflects a healed heart, open mind and empty hands? " My problem is so many people are "me monsters", meaning they only talk about themselves. It is boring and I get sick of it. I remember that I should be loving them through my mind and I try for a short while and then I am back at being bored. I avoid these people, even though I send love from my heart to theirs. How can I continue to have a healed heart, open mind and empty hands when listening to them? It is so boring.
For me, it is sometimes helpful to reflect on the ACIM concept of projection, i.e., the idea that the outside world - an individual, a community of individuals, an event, an era, whatever - is a reflection of an inside condition.
If there are folks I don't want to be with, then I don't have to be with them, but I DO need to look deeply at the reasoning behind my aversion. Why am I angry and hurt? Why am I annoyed? Why am I disdainful?
Often, I find at the root of these feelings, a sense of fear. When projected, fear is very specific - I fear secret police, famine, poverty, whatever. But when I don't project - when I sit with fear with the Holy Spirit - I can sometimes see how it is not MY fear but OUR fear and, in the end, just fear.
And that becomes my work - to give attention, with the Holy Spirit, to fear. Not to project it or hold others responsible, but simply be present to the experience. We all experience fear; we all experience guilt; we all experience anger.
I was in a meeting recently where someone did almost ALL the talking. At the end, a friend said to me, "some people are space makers and some people are space takers and they were a space TAKER."
And it was true! But also, I could identify. I could find the fear in me that sometimes takes the form of talking over you or not letting you get a word in edge-wise. And, briefly, I felt compassion and care.
I'm not suggesting I get this right all the time or even most of the time. But I do feel clear now what the work is, and I'm grateful for the chance over and over to practice it. God is very kind to give me so many chances to remember Love.
Thank you for your honesty and openness, and for being here, and bearing witness. I am so grateful to share this path with you, Robyn.
In two weeks, my brother and sister in law will be visiting from out of town. I am apprehensive. He is all-in on the chaos transpiring in the USA, believing the deception that this short term pain, will produce long term gains. I don’t believe that for a second, nor does my wife/his sister, but that’s the reality he lives in. Who knows, maybe history will show that he’s right and I’m wrong… but I don’t think so.
He and I have already had several discussions over the years about our differing views, sometimes on the edge of anger, but most times stopping short of that. We both agree that each of us thinks we’re right, and acknowledge we are at a perpetual impasse. It’s all so difficult for me to accept and understand, but this is where the world is at right now, not only in this country, but sadly and scarily, in a growing number of societies around the world.
So, in anticipation of this visit, I’m doing my best to mentally prepare to set my intention to remain calm and loving. As this, and your other posts constantly remind me, this is the only way forward. I will continue to actively promote compassion, inclusion, and democratic values in the world, as I believe activism is still called for given these circumstances of the day, but one-on-one, try to heal the hot mess by remaining friendly.
Thank you for your outreach.
You're welcome, Tom - thank you for sharing and being here.
I identify so much with this - my day-to-day life puts me in contact often with folks with whom I disagree in profound ways. It is an ongoing challenge to understand how to respond and be in relationship with them.
I am a learner with a long way to go.
I want to point to a sentence in my post and use it somewhat out of context here. The course says that we are too comfortable passively condoning our mind's miscreations - yet, critically, "the particular result does not matter, but the fundamental error does" (T-2.VI.4:7).
The course is inviting me to let go of specific outcomes and instead focus on my own willingness to not be responsible for peace and happiness.
The suggestion is, I am confused about what's going on - my confusion (or ignorance) is causes me and others pain - and so MY work is to clear up that confusion and ignorance.
I spend a lot of my time bringing specific issues to the Holy Spirit in what I think is consistent with a long tradition of Christian contemplative prayer. "Here is the issue as I see it - can you help me see it more clearly?"
And then I sit quietly, eyes closed, and with all my heart give sustained attention only to the still small voice within that ALWAYS testifies on behalf of healing.
And that's it. That's the whole ballgame. Because if I can correct the underlying confusion (or the "fundamental error" as the course calls it) then the particular circumstance - the neighbor celebrating a Measles outbreak or the co-worker saying who cares how many kids die of AIDS in Africa - stops vexing me so much. I KNOW what to do - even if "what to do" is simply to just say "thank you for sharing" and walk away.
Also? It's okay to make mistakes, even apparently big ones. The Holy Spirit is VERY adept at using my mistakes to bring forth healing.
The deeper I go into my confusion, the more I realize it is not MY confusion but OUR confusion (and then, ultimately, simply confusion). And the particular circumstance or outcome really does fade away then because it's clear that the real problem is collective amnesia about our oneness, our connectedness.
I am so grateful for those glimpses - those gifts - of Love.
And I have so much gratitude for women and men like you who just keep returning to the difficulties, over and over, determined to find a way through the fear to love, no matter what. Thank you for bearing witness and reminding me I'm not alone (and for inspiring Susan to share her thoughts, which I think are fantastic, as always).
Thank you again for being here, Tom. It means a lot.
~ Sean
🙏
Hi Tom - having been through a similar situation, I can say that seeing your brother as God created him - as a light may help you to remain calm. Often a smile, silence, or a simple "thanks for sharing" can diffuse a situation. I have allowed others to speak their minds (remember they may unknowingly be afraid too) and just be present to listen. They often move on once they've said their piece. Picturing myself "above the battleground" takes "me" out of the equation. I don't need to comment; I just need to be there as another human being. Miracles happened for me this way. I hope they will for you too.
Thank you Susan 🙏🙏
Susan, helpful advice… thank you.
Tom, when this happens to me... I just politely listen and not say anything or at least not much. In my mind I am saying, "I would rather be happy than right". I have found those people think you are agreeing with them... and most of the time, that doesn't matter.
Thanks Robyn
A line worth remembering…
"I would rather be happy than right"
Yes, Sean, yes, yes, yes! Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your journey.
🙏🙏
So beautifully said. As scary as the world is appearing I am reminded there is no hierarchy of illusions and that the answer is always Love and its expression in whatever way that it is possible to extend in the now moment and to whom ever it is possible to give. ❤sending love hugs and blessings to our Earthly family
Thank you Nancy - yes yes yes - hugs and love right back 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you Sean,
I have recently been reminded of the importance of the first five lessons in the workbook.
1. Nothing I see means anything.
2. I have given everything all the meaning it has for me.
3. I do not understand anything I see.
4. These thoughts do not mean anything.
5. I am never upset for the reason I think.
They are a reminder to me that I have built an unreal world. A world of illusion. What I see on TV or in the Newspaper is not the real world. If I do get a bit caught up in the insanity of the illusion I remind myself that my thoughts are not my real thoughts and that they are meaningless. Easier said than done for sure. My wife is a fellow student so at times we do have a laugh about it all.
Blessings,
You're welcome, Peter. Thank you for being here and sharing. Yeah, those first early lessons are actually quite profound and beautiful - simple enough compared to some of the later material but definitely powerful.
And yes - laughter. It is medicinal!
Thank you again for being here 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you Sean! This is so helpful 🙏🙏❤️❤️
🙏🙏
Your sharings always help me open to Love, beyond all the resistances that arise. You show me and guide me to live my function, to Be the Light of the world. I feel such Gratitude 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for the kind words, Glenda - I'm glad you're here and that we can share this path. We are the light together!
🙏🙏
~ Sean
Thank you so much, love being here, together, learning within and without
You're welcome, Simona. Thank you for being here and sharing - we are in this together 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Sean, once again, thanks for your post. You said, "questions like: what am I doing in each and every relationship in my life that reflects a healed heart, open mind and empty hands? " My problem is so many people are "me monsters", meaning they only talk about themselves. It is boring and I get sick of it. I remember that I should be loving them through my mind and I try for a short while and then I am back at being bored. I avoid these people, even though I send love from my heart to theirs. How can I continue to have a healed heart, open mind and empty hands when listening to them? It is so boring.
You're welcome, Robyn.
For me, it is sometimes helpful to reflect on the ACIM concept of projection, i.e., the idea that the outside world - an individual, a community of individuals, an event, an era, whatever - is a reflection of an inside condition.
If there are folks I don't want to be with, then I don't have to be with them, but I DO need to look deeply at the reasoning behind my aversion. Why am I angry and hurt? Why am I annoyed? Why am I disdainful?
Often, I find at the root of these feelings, a sense of fear. When projected, fear is very specific - I fear secret police, famine, poverty, whatever. But when I don't project - when I sit with fear with the Holy Spirit - I can sometimes see how it is not MY fear but OUR fear and, in the end, just fear.
And that becomes my work - to give attention, with the Holy Spirit, to fear. Not to project it or hold others responsible, but simply be present to the experience. We all experience fear; we all experience guilt; we all experience anger.
I was in a meeting recently where someone did almost ALL the talking. At the end, a friend said to me, "some people are space makers and some people are space takers and they were a space TAKER."
And it was true! But also, I could identify. I could find the fear in me that sometimes takes the form of talking over you or not letting you get a word in edge-wise. And, briefly, I felt compassion and care.
I'm not suggesting I get this right all the time or even most of the time. But I do feel clear now what the work is, and I'm grateful for the chance over and over to practice it. God is very kind to give me so many chances to remember Love.
Thank you for your honesty and openness, and for being here, and bearing witness. I am so grateful to share this path with you, Robyn.
~ Sean