I wanted but could not find a place for this quote from Carse's book "Perfect Brilliant Stillness." So I'm adding it here, as a kind of addendum.
"Say you had a dream or a vision and in the vision everything is streaming light. That's all there is, just light streaming . . . And then the light streaming shapes itself into a person who says, "I want to.be able to wake up and see the light." You look at this streaming light formed into a person-shape and say, "But what you are is obviously streaming light." The streaming light says, "No, I don't think so, I don't experience that. I feel very dark and alone and am in so much pain. Show me how I can see this light you are talking about." Meanwhile the streaming light formed into a person-shape is practically blinding you with their beauty and brilliance . . . (343).
Thank you Sean for your words today. It reminded me once again that as the Course says, you are always in the right place and situation. I try to keep in mind that there is no need to try to figure things out and make a plan for that allows the ego to take charge. It's hard to give up control but necessary if Peace is the goal. Sean, your words today were so direct and helpful even if for me some of them were hard to swallow. I so appreciate your insight.
Good morning, Sean. I am quite taken by the way in which you mentioned the void ALONG WITH the hope that comes after losing everything you think matters. It seems that you are saying, in order to have the eyes to see this hope in the abyss, one must come to God with "wholly empty hands". This emptiness....this pouring out....is it the simply the result of being in the void/abyss, or is there an action one must consider in releasing all that made us who we thought we were?! How does one do that? If you are able, can you share a little about what that looked like for you?
Your addendum in the comments resonates intensely. It kind of goes along with the experience of being able to see intense light in and of someone else, but maybe not as well for, and in, ourselves. In a beautifully symbiotic way, we need one another to reflect and see this light in ALL it's forms. My next question piggy backs upon my previous one: if one is in the void, no light to be seen or felt, with feelings of deep despair and darkness, how does one find the luminous reflection?
Questions aside, your work here reminds me I am not alone. I will never not be grateful for both learning and seeing that.
Thank you for your words. Thank you for extending and welcoming us here.
I love the reminder that to cherish awakening, the thoughts, the act, the shining promise, is yet another illusion in which we believe we are something we are not, that we have something more to do and somewhere else to arrive. And so we strive and try to make it holy until we realize that it is far from holy! The knowledge and acceptance that the pathways of the world lead to nowhere is, first and foremost hard to see, and second difficult to remember, yet alone accept. I’ve fallen asleep in this over and over. We are conditioned to believe that we must do something, and yet the course tells us this isn’t so. The course plainly spells out “you need do nothing.” I am often reminded to just relax. You have helped me to do this.
I’m grateful that you do not encourage spiritual bypassing and only examine the upside of acim and this path. Paradoxically, the downside, though painful and scary, only points is directly back at truth. "The course is simple--"It has one function and one goal. Only in that does it remain wholly consistent, because only that can be consistent."--but not easy--and we definitely need each other. I think it is helpful to point out and for all of us to see with clear eyes the bleakness, the hopelessness, the anguish, and the terror of gazing at the void—though existentially painful, it is but another illusion. If only we can remember, and if only we can remind each other and hold one another in this.
And to reiterate Jessica’s point, to recognize the “and yets”…there is something more.
The truth is that light and joy and peace abide in me, and you, and my daughters, my dog, and that pine tree. And even if I can’t sense it or don’t realize it, does not make it untrue.
Only truth is true. Nothing unreal exists and nothing real can be threatened.
The experiences of the void shared by you and others in the comments reminds me of the course text:
You have made much progress and are really trying to make still more, but there is one thing you have never done: Not for one instant have you utterly forgotten the body. It has faded at times from your sight, but it has not yet completely disappeared. You are not asked to let this happen for more than an instant, but it is in this instant that the miracle of Atonement happens. Afterwards you will see the body again, but never quite the same. And every instant that you spend without awareness of it gives you a different view of it when you return.
T-22.VII.1-2
This also reminds me of the dialectical opposition inherent in and of all things--darkness and light, separation and oneness, fear and love, illusion and truth. Somehow in reading this newsletter and the comments, the quote, “the depth of my sorrow matches the height of my joy" comes to mind. Experiencing both the depths and the heights as a healing of my mind has, at times, felt terrifying because of the truly cavernous depths of my fears and sorrows--mind you I recognize, at least faintly, that I am doing this to myself! And if I’m being honest after reading this post and other people’s experiences, the personal depths I have experienced, though harrowing to me feel shallow by comparison. I'm also wondering if perhaps depths and heights, and sorrow and joy at some point or somewhere converge into this sense of what is being expressed as a felt sense of nothingness. No thing. No choice. Maybe the only thing that exists in this place is I am?
The dialogue around emptiness, empty hands, letting go of the world reminds me of kenosis--the act of self-emptying, in which Christ is a supreme example. Your comment that being in the void and reaching the place of defeat, not surrender strikes me. Do you consider this as symbolic of a death of the ego? In writing this, I can feel the ways in which I cherish my self, this sense of self that feeds on struggle and attack and fear and hate for its sustenance.
The message that we are here to not only do the work but to also join feels important. It feels life-giving. It feels like Love. Yes, the work is hard, but that I am not alone, you are not alone and we are not alone and that we are here to join and search for one another is comforting. That you will search for me and I for you, that you will not let me go and I will not let you go, that one calls and one answers—we all benefit. What is more healing than this?
I'm so grateful to you and those you have commented.
When I was 11 or 12, I found myself (the mind?) having a brief unprovoked experience of what I then called *nothingness*, an excursion into some outer space-like chasm of absolute stillness and starless darkness—no, not even darkness, but the utter absence of light altogether—AND YET (!) there was at the same time a brilliance I cannot put words too. I was pulled by curiosity to stay with it until I got scared. Somehow, still tethered to a thread of observation, an uh-oh-I-better-go-back moment manifested and so I *returned* to what I called *myself * and got on with my little life though never having forgotten the experience . . . Some thirty years later I received a cranio-sacral session by a masterful shamanic therapist who left me on a treatment table alone in a purposely dark room after I had entered a deep non-verbal immovable state. Here, for a second time, I experienced this realm of *nothingness* but this time it was more pervasive and in a literal sense it felt life-threatening. There was a terror that I would not return because I *could* not return—I felt I had no choice this time and I think it had everything to do with being alone in that experience. It was an aloneness that was spectacular and unbearable. Fortunately, the practitioner eventually came back to the dark room and literally extended his hand. . . . I want to believe, am counting on your reminder, that we are all in this together. That we will not forget or forsake one another no matter how short or long we find ourselves walking in a lonesome valley. Thank you for this provocative sharing, Sean.
Sean im in A void,not an unpleasant one but a void nonetheless. How do I describe it it's empty its It's neither pleasant nor unpleasant it's just where I am. I don't want to read anymore I don't want to study the course I don't want to do any lessons I don't seem to need anything.Fear has gone and with it guilt and shame. I think the best way to describe it in one word nothingness I am in a well of nothingness with no needs no desires just nothing.I think you will understand where I am Sean I think you will thank you anyway
I wanted but could not find a place for this quote from Carse's book "Perfect Brilliant Stillness." So I'm adding it here, as a kind of addendum.
"Say you had a dream or a vision and in the vision everything is streaming light. That's all there is, just light streaming . . . And then the light streaming shapes itself into a person who says, "I want to.be able to wake up and see the light." You look at this streaming light formed into a person-shape and say, "But what you are is obviously streaming light." The streaming light says, "No, I don't think so, I don't experience that. I feel very dark and alone and am in so much pain. Show me how I can see this light you are talking about." Meanwhile the streaming light formed into a person-shape is practically blinding you with their beauty and brilliance . . . (343).
Thank you Sean for your words today. It reminded me once again that as the Course says, you are always in the right place and situation. I try to keep in mind that there is no need to try to figure things out and make a plan for that allows the ego to take charge. It's hard to give up control but necessary if Peace is the goal. Sean, your words today were so direct and helpful even if for me some of them were hard to swallow. I so appreciate your insight.
Good morning, Sean. I am quite taken by the way in which you mentioned the void ALONG WITH the hope that comes after losing everything you think matters. It seems that you are saying, in order to have the eyes to see this hope in the abyss, one must come to God with "wholly empty hands". This emptiness....this pouring out....is it the simply the result of being in the void/abyss, or is there an action one must consider in releasing all that made us who we thought we were?! How does one do that? If you are able, can you share a little about what that looked like for you?
Your addendum in the comments resonates intensely. It kind of goes along with the experience of being able to see intense light in and of someone else, but maybe not as well for, and in, ourselves. In a beautifully symbiotic way, we need one another to reflect and see this light in ALL it's forms. My next question piggy backs upon my previous one: if one is in the void, no light to be seen or felt, with feelings of deep despair and darkness, how does one find the luminous reflection?
Questions aside, your work here reminds me I am not alone. I will never not be grateful for both learning and seeing that.
Jessica
Sean,
Thank you for your words. Thank you for extending and welcoming us here.
I love the reminder that to cherish awakening, the thoughts, the act, the shining promise, is yet another illusion in which we believe we are something we are not, that we have something more to do and somewhere else to arrive. And so we strive and try to make it holy until we realize that it is far from holy! The knowledge and acceptance that the pathways of the world lead to nowhere is, first and foremost hard to see, and second difficult to remember, yet alone accept. I’ve fallen asleep in this over and over. We are conditioned to believe that we must do something, and yet the course tells us this isn’t so. The course plainly spells out “you need do nothing.” I am often reminded to just relax. You have helped me to do this.
I’m grateful that you do not encourage spiritual bypassing and only examine the upside of acim and this path. Paradoxically, the downside, though painful and scary, only points is directly back at truth. "The course is simple--"It has one function and one goal. Only in that does it remain wholly consistent, because only that can be consistent."--but not easy--and we definitely need each other. I think it is helpful to point out and for all of us to see with clear eyes the bleakness, the hopelessness, the anguish, and the terror of gazing at the void—though existentially painful, it is but another illusion. If only we can remember, and if only we can remind each other and hold one another in this.
And to reiterate Jessica’s point, to recognize the “and yets”…there is something more.
The truth is that light and joy and peace abide in me, and you, and my daughters, my dog, and that pine tree. And even if I can’t sense it or don’t realize it, does not make it untrue.
Only truth is true. Nothing unreal exists and nothing real can be threatened.
The experiences of the void shared by you and others in the comments reminds me of the course text:
You have made much progress and are really trying to make still more, but there is one thing you have never done: Not for one instant have you utterly forgotten the body. It has faded at times from your sight, but it has not yet completely disappeared. You are not asked to let this happen for more than an instant, but it is in this instant that the miracle of Atonement happens. Afterwards you will see the body again, but never quite the same. And every instant that you spend without awareness of it gives you a different view of it when you return.
T-22.VII.1-2
This also reminds me of the dialectical opposition inherent in and of all things--darkness and light, separation and oneness, fear and love, illusion and truth. Somehow in reading this newsletter and the comments, the quote, “the depth of my sorrow matches the height of my joy" comes to mind. Experiencing both the depths and the heights as a healing of my mind has, at times, felt terrifying because of the truly cavernous depths of my fears and sorrows--mind you I recognize, at least faintly, that I am doing this to myself! And if I’m being honest after reading this post and other people’s experiences, the personal depths I have experienced, though harrowing to me feel shallow by comparison. I'm also wondering if perhaps depths and heights, and sorrow and joy at some point or somewhere converge into this sense of what is being expressed as a felt sense of nothingness. No thing. No choice. Maybe the only thing that exists in this place is I am?
The dialogue around emptiness, empty hands, letting go of the world reminds me of kenosis--the act of self-emptying, in which Christ is a supreme example. Your comment that being in the void and reaching the place of defeat, not surrender strikes me. Do you consider this as symbolic of a death of the ego? In writing this, I can feel the ways in which I cherish my self, this sense of self that feeds on struggle and attack and fear and hate for its sustenance.
The message that we are here to not only do the work but to also join feels important. It feels life-giving. It feels like Love. Yes, the work is hard, but that I am not alone, you are not alone and we are not alone and that we are here to join and search for one another is comforting. That you will search for me and I for you, that you will not let me go and I will not let you go, that one calls and one answers—we all benefit. What is more healing than this?
I'm so grateful to you and those you have commented.
Spot on Sean 🙏☘️💚
When I was 11 or 12, I found myself (the mind?) having a brief unprovoked experience of what I then called *nothingness*, an excursion into some outer space-like chasm of absolute stillness and starless darkness—no, not even darkness, but the utter absence of light altogether—AND YET (!) there was at the same time a brilliance I cannot put words too. I was pulled by curiosity to stay with it until I got scared. Somehow, still tethered to a thread of observation, an uh-oh-I-better-go-back moment manifested and so I *returned* to what I called *myself * and got on with my little life though never having forgotten the experience . . . Some thirty years later I received a cranio-sacral session by a masterful shamanic therapist who left me on a treatment table alone in a purposely dark room after I had entered a deep non-verbal immovable state. Here, for a second time, I experienced this realm of *nothingness* but this time it was more pervasive and in a literal sense it felt life-threatening. There was a terror that I would not return because I *could* not return—I felt I had no choice this time and I think it had everything to do with being alone in that experience. It was an aloneness that was spectacular and unbearable. Fortunately, the practitioner eventually came back to the dark room and literally extended his hand. . . . I want to believe, am counting on your reminder, that we are all in this together. That we will not forget or forsake one another no matter how short or long we find ourselves walking in a lonesome valley. Thank you for this provocative sharing, Sean.
For any who might be interested, you can download David Carse's "Perfect Brilliant Stillness" in pdf format from https://www.perfectbrilliantstillness.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Book-from-PerfectBrilliantStillness.org_.pdf
Sean, so glad I read the entire message. But who is David Carse?
With appreciation,
Ginny
Sean im in A void,not an unpleasant one but a void nonetheless. How do I describe it it's empty its It's neither pleasant nor unpleasant it's just where I am. I don't want to read anymore I don't want to study the course I don't want to do any lessons I don't seem to need anything.Fear has gone and with it guilt and shame. I think the best way to describe it in one word nothingness I am in a well of nothingness with no needs no desires just nothing.I think you will understand where I am Sean I think you will thank you anyway