I
Growing up, there weren't many Catholics around. The nearest church was several towns away. On Mondays, after school lunch, when everyone else was at recess, the Catholic kids were marched across the street to the town hall for what the mothers waiting there called "catechism classes."
I hated catechism class. I was fascinated by Jesus and the bible, and the pageantry of the mass has always appealed to me, but I hated catechism. Jesus walked on water and got executed for what as far as I could tell was no crime, and here we were being told that his biggest concern was that we not talk back to our parents and teachers.
Across the street my friends were playing dodgeball. They were sliding and swinging. I could hear their shouts of joy. On the best of days, even now, sitting still is not my strong suit. Every moment in catechism class I wanted to scream; I wanted to jump out of my skin.
One day, in desperation, I prayed. I told Jesus that in a moment I was going to look to my right where there was a stairwell. If he was standing at the top of it, then I would stop grousing and grumbling and devote myself to following him. If he was not there, well, that was on him.
I meant this sincerely! I was eight years old and I prayed with real faith and clear intentions. I prayed - I still remember the intensity of the prayer - and then I opened my eyes and turned my gaze to the stairwell.
What do you think I saw?
II
A Course in Miracles does not discourage us from using prayer to ask for things. Need the traffic to clear so you can get to your therapist on time? Want a cure for the cancer ravaging your body? Want to know the most helpful thing to say to a brother or sister in pain?
The Holy Spirit is there for all of that.
The course is clear that all prayers are heard and all prayers receive a response (T-9.II.3:1-2). But it's also clear that no response will ever be given that contradicts ACIM's singular purpose, i.e., the "escape from fear" (T-9.II.1:4). It is possible therefore that we receive answers to our prayers but do not recognize them as answers, which can make it seem like our prayers have been left unanswered.
This does not have to be a problem!
It is possible that His answer will not be heard. It is impossible, however, that it will be lost. There are many answers you have already received but have not yet heard. I assure you that they are waiting for you (T-9.II.3:4-7).
Fear exists at the level of the mind (T-3.VII.5:1), and it is at that level that A Course in Miracles functions and heals. It undoes the thought system taught by the world, which is predicated on scarcity, conflict and separation. It restores to awareness what we are in truth.
I seek my own Identity, and find It in these words: “Love, which created me, is what I am.” Now need I seek no more. Love has prevailed (W-pII.229.1:1-3).
When we ask for a better parking spot or an end to a migraine headache , we are asking the Holy Spirit to address symptoms of fear, rather than fear itself. This is okay! But the law is, the symptoms can only be dissolved if their dissolution does not make us fearful.
Let us suppose, then, that what you ask of the Holy Spirit is what you really want, but you are still afraid of it. Should this be the case, your attainment of it would no longer be what you want. This is why certain specific forms of healing are not achieved, even when the state of healing is (T-9.II.2:1-3).
All of this makes sense! It's very logical.
But then the course does a funny thing. It shifts the focus from me and my prayers (which I very much enjoy focusing on) to the way in which I give attention to you (about which I am not as interested). Do you see how the responsibility changes? Jesus (there is a lot of first person singular in this section) is inviting me to commune with you, assuring me that doing so is the only answer to prayer that either one of us needs.
Remember that the Holy Spirit is in [your brother], and His Voice speaks to you through him. What can so holy a brother tell you except truth? But are you listening to it? (T-9.II.4:5-7)
Tara Singh says that when A Course in Miracles asks a question we should stop reading and answer it. Are we listening to our brother or sister? Or have we already decided who and what they are, and therefore have already decided what to hear and what not to hear?
Most of us, if we are honest, have already put the other into a box that serves our imagined needs. We aren't listening; we are hearing what we we want to hear. We are reinforcing separation.
There is, says Jesus, a better way.
You will not know the trust I have in you unless you extend it. You will not trust the guidance of the Holy Spirit, or believe that it is for you unless you hear it in others. It must be for your brother because it is for you (T-9.II.6:7-9).
In other words, if we are not prepared to be surprised by the Holy Spirit - if we are not prepared to be redirected in what can feel like counter-intuitive and even radical ways - then we are not actually listening to the Holy Spirit. We are listening to the ego masquerading (yet again) as the Holy Spirit.
Your brother may not know who he is, but there is a light in his mind that does know. This light can shine into yours, giving truth to his words and making you able to hear them. His words are the Holy Spirit’s answer to you. Is your faith in him strong enough to let you hear? (T-9.II.5:5-11)
In other words, pray. Please pray. But don't decide in advance what the answer to your prayer will be. Pray and then give attention to your brothers and sisters. They are the answer, and they will share the answer with you, but you have to be open and willing to hear. You have to be in attendance without any preconceived ideas of what’s happening next. Every possible outcome must be made welcome.
Prayer is the restatement of inclusion, directed by the Holy Spirit under the laws of God. Salvation is of your brother. The Holy Spirit extends from your mind to his, and answers you. You cannot hear the Voice for God in yourself alone, because you are not alone (T-9.II.6:2-5).
When the Holy Spirit hears our prayer - no matter what the content of the prayer is - the answer is always found in a relationship that is dedicated to holiness rather than fear. There are no mistakes in salvation, and we are not alone. As we used to say at mass, alleluia alleluia.
III
On Saturday, when I was trying to write this post, nothing worked. The various drafts kicking around refused to cohere. My mind was blank. I flipped through the text hoping something would jump out but nothing did.
Annoyance became frustration; frustration became anger. Why do I bother with this? Whose bright idea was it to write every Monday? Why does everything have to be so difficult?
In the middle of this spiral, I got an email from a friend with whom I share an ACIM-centered dialogue.
Hey Sean, she said. I just read The Answer to Prayer this morning, and it's got me thinking about “the mechanics of communication and the concept of attack or communion and how in any given transaction, it seems that either one or the other is happening.” What do you think?
A Course in Miracles says that the message our brother or sister gives to us is up to us (T-9.II.5:1). It says that our decision about them determines the message we receive (T-9.II.5:4). This is true for me, for my friend who emailed, and for you who are reading. This is our communion. This is the light being shared.
What do I think?
I think a lot about that little boy and the prayer he prayed almost half a century ago. I am the man that child became, this is the spiritual path I follow, and you are the one who shares it.
What did that little boy see when he turned his gaze to the stairwell?
Beloved: you tell me.
~ Sean
What a hook!! Undeniably understandable…when I was 8 I made room in my bed for my Gardiam Angel…what would an 8 year boy see? Love to you Sean and thank you!
Shaun, I read that this morning and just almost knocked me off my chair from the catechism to the problem with alcohol to my quest for god of my understanding you covered it all buddy I love you you’ve been given to me as a gift. Thank you.