The place your inner nature is leading you is quite beautiful. Seems like a lot of letting go, trust and faith. It’s inspiring. Reminds me of the Tao Te Ching "Returning to the root is called stillness... Being at one with the Tao, one is everlasting."
Ah! That's a lovely association. Lately I've been reading "If A Mountain Lion Could Sing: The Lyric Poems of Xin Qiji" (translated by Red Pine) and it is deeply moving. Maybe some of that vibe is seeping into my psyche!
Your first sentence made me laugh hard, only because it felt so true for me immediately. Your article gave me great joy, hope, and opened my heart to devotion. When you show your humanness and vulnerability it helps me feel safe in my undesirable parts and not so alone. It felt like you were shining your light on everything, even the dark corners shrouded in secret became illuminated. All is well. 🙏
I hear you Sean. And I appreciate your perpetual honesty and integrity with your experiences. I myself have come upon anger. Actually a great rage towards God and Jesus and just about everything that has shaken my grasp on what I thought was my reality. I had no warning this is part of awakening and was shocked at what surfaced. And through it, I couldn’t ignore the gently encouragement I felt coming from the light.
In that intense period- I actively chose to turn away from God in order to feel and release what was surfacing. I somehow felt shame for Him seeing me like that and my human brain thought it best to isolate. I put the course down for the first time in 3 years! I was so angry at what it made me realize and feel. I cleaned house of everything I was before in a great act of defiance.
I’m through the most difficult part of the rage but it still simmers here and there. I made the voice not to return to the course until I was ready. And a thought came to me recently- I will return to the course, to Jesus, but I will return different. More equal. More sovereign. There is much work to be done but it comes and I do it. And I grow. And I change. And I return again.
Thank you, Kate - this is clear. I think integrity with our inner state is important - honoring it, not denying it, letting it settle. It's weather to me, and it comes and goes, but it's not nothing. It speaks deeply to me and as you are saying, being in dialogue with it - being moved by it, reflecting on it, adjusting to it and so forth - is how we find the way. Thanks for being here - I really appreciate the company 🙏
Thank you, Nilsa. I appreciate this. I understand how powerful and helpful that language can be.
I am at a different place in my practice now, and trying to speak clearly about it. Our function is to love in a loveless place (T-14.IV.4:10) and this function has a form, which we discern with the Holy Spirit (e.g., T-25.VII.5:1). The form is action we take with these bodies in the world that most helpfully demonstrates to us and others God's love and mercy (e.g., T-25.VII.7:1).
For me - which is not to say for you or anyone else - that form is closest to a kind of Catholic Worker / liberation theology ethos. So with Jesus's help and God's grace, that is what I am working on.
Thank you for being here and sharing, Nilsa. We are in this together.
The relationship with Jesus is an interesting one. He is persistent! Not forceful but he shows up when needed -- not just when I think he's needed but when Love is needed! I vascillate between peace, anger and devotion on my journey, but when he shows up I see clearly there is only one choice: move within love. His light is so beautiful. I don't know anything but I know I don't want to...indeed, I can't turn away.
Thank you for sharing this, Susan - I resonate deeply with "when he shows up there is only choice" and the choice is love. I feel the clarity of this and also the demand it makes. He not only shows me that the love is the answer but the way in which I resist accepting that love is the answer. He calls me back into relationhip, over and over. This is the way. This is the way.
Sean, I read your writing today and think of the next layer of the onion being revealed. We're only ready for the deeper truths after we do some of the searching and healing and growth the earlier work brings about. Who could accept these deeper truths at the beginning of the journey - whether newly sober, new to a religion, new to a spiritual practice. The trust has to be established between the teacher and student for it to be received openly and without fear. Thank you for your courage to hear the call - you are like a scout showing us the path ahead if we have the courage to embrace it.
Thank you, Andrea. I agree with this - we have to clear ground and even rebuild soil before the new shoots of peace and joy appear. And the garden needs to be tended - composted, folded, turned over, seeded, etc. Sinking into the tending - being willing to disappear into the tending - feels like the part of the work I (always "I") fear the most, and yet increasingly I realize that's where the liberation, the awakening, is. That's WHAT the liberation and awakening is. And I cannot do this alone. I can only do it in relationship, in communion, with others. I am lately in the mind of Tolkien, who emphasized that we cannot choose the time or place of our encounter with life, but with friends - with a fellowship of folks working together to support and empower each other - the journey simplifies, becomes manageable.
Thank you for seeing the work I'm trying to do and thank you for being with me and supporting me. We are in this together, and I am deeply grateful 🙏🙏
I remember going into the privacy of the confessional to mumble my sins to the priest, ask forgiveness, do the penance, move on. Sean, what you’ve done here is blown off the doors of the confessional by telling an open truth which is true for all of us. You rightly point out that the system (which we have co-created) is set up to make us fear one another. A system that makes it easy for me to judge “the other” and draw my separatist and elevated conclusions that fool me into feeling comfortable. But that comfort doesn’t last.
I recently spoke with an elderly nun, foundress of her cloistered community, about the suffering of the world and how to navigate the all-consuming anger that arises at those who foster it for their own gain. He must be in terrible pain to cruelly attack others as he does, she said of our president. “I feel anger too. And yet I pray for him which keeps my heart open—otherwise I sink into the suffering itself.” It's becoming clearer to me that the suffering I cause (in all its many forms) is because I myself am hurting. How will I learn to see Christness in myself, in others, even in him.
The systemic criticism is hardest to hold, especially when faced with its most egregious nodes. But yeah! I can't imagine the inner life of Donald Trump - the fear of death, the loss of control. Lots of pain there. In a sense, he and the moment present a profound opportunity for healing - both in terms of how we are feeling (are we fed, nurtured, sheltered, at play) but also in repairing the system. I find a lot of cause for hope in young people - there are some incredible young women and men out there, with clear minds and big hearts, hands unafraid of getting dirty. I'm grateful for them.
And yes, prayer is the hinge. I have been taken back to basics in that domain! I got some clear instructions to pray as I was taught to pray and it has been powerful. So much grace to be found in stillness, puttering, and getting out of the way. And then the moments when we are called to serve are easier to notice and meet - and let go of as they pass. I always loved Leonard Cohen's cover of "Passing Through." I feel so connected these days in our "passing-throughness." Love can be denigrated, denied and dismissed but never defeated. Love is what stays.
You have once again portrayed the role of the one. I have heard, who uses a stick to wake you up in meditation. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for expressing your wisdom so courageously and so clearly. In Gratitude- RO
The place your inner nature is leading you is quite beautiful. Seems like a lot of letting go, trust and faith. It’s inspiring. Reminds me of the Tao Te Ching "Returning to the root is called stillness... Being at one with the Tao, one is everlasting."
Ah! That's a lovely association. Lately I've been reading "If A Mountain Lion Could Sing: The Lyric Poems of Xin Qiji" (translated by Red Pine) and it is deeply moving. Maybe some of that vibe is seeping into my psyche!
~ Sean
This reminds me of when I was called to work in a prison. That is where I learned where Jesus is and felt his wisdom about our oneness.
Thank you Sandra ❤️
Your first sentence made me laugh hard, only because it felt so true for me immediately. Your article gave me great joy, hope, and opened my heart to devotion. When you show your humanness and vulnerability it helps me feel safe in my undesirable parts and not so alone. It felt like you were shining your light on everything, even the dark corners shrouded in secret became illuminated. All is well. 🙏
Thank you Glenda - I'm glad it was helpful. We are not alone and all is well, indeed 🙏🙏
~ Sean
I hear you Sean. And I appreciate your perpetual honesty and integrity with your experiences. I myself have come upon anger. Actually a great rage towards God and Jesus and just about everything that has shaken my grasp on what I thought was my reality. I had no warning this is part of awakening and was shocked at what surfaced. And through it, I couldn’t ignore the gently encouragement I felt coming from the light.
In that intense period- I actively chose to turn away from God in order to feel and release what was surfacing. I somehow felt shame for Him seeing me like that and my human brain thought it best to isolate. I put the course down for the first time in 3 years! I was so angry at what it made me realize and feel. I cleaned house of everything I was before in a great act of defiance.
I’m through the most difficult part of the rage but it still simmers here and there. I made the voice not to return to the course until I was ready. And a thought came to me recently- I will return to the course, to Jesus, but I will return different. More equal. More sovereign. There is much work to be done but it comes and I do it. And I grow. And I change. And I return again.
Thank you, Kate - this is clear. I think integrity with our inner state is important - honoring it, not denying it, letting it settle. It's weather to me, and it comes and goes, but it's not nothing. It speaks deeply to me and as you are saying, being in dialogue with it - being moved by it, reflecting on it, adjusting to it and so forth - is how we find the way. Thanks for being here - I really appreciate the company 🙏
~ Sean
Thank you for sharing the ego’s face.
But let me see you as my Saviour because you and me are one in Christ.
Forgiveness is the answer for all.
Forgiveness is the answer to all the questions.
Forgive me brother, let me see the Christ in you!
For grace we are released. Grace is the acceptance of God’s love.
Thank you, Nilsa. I appreciate this. I understand how powerful and helpful that language can be.
I am at a different place in my practice now, and trying to speak clearly about it. Our function is to love in a loveless place (T-14.IV.4:10) and this function has a form, which we discern with the Holy Spirit (e.g., T-25.VII.5:1). The form is action we take with these bodies in the world that most helpfully demonstrates to us and others God's love and mercy (e.g., T-25.VII.7:1).
For me - which is not to say for you or anyone else - that form is closest to a kind of Catholic Worker / liberation theology ethos. So with Jesus's help and God's grace, that is what I am working on.
Thank you for being here and sharing, Nilsa. We are in this together.
~ Sean
The relationship with Jesus is an interesting one. He is persistent! Not forceful but he shows up when needed -- not just when I think he's needed but when Love is needed! I vascillate between peace, anger and devotion on my journey, but when he shows up I see clearly there is only one choice: move within love. His light is so beautiful. I don't know anything but I know I don't want to...indeed, I can't turn away.
Thank you for sharing this, Susan - I resonate deeply with "when he shows up there is only choice" and the choice is love. I feel the clarity of this and also the demand it makes. He not only shows me that the love is the answer but the way in which I resist accepting that love is the answer. He calls me back into relationhip, over and over. This is the way. This is the way.
Thank you for saying that, Susan.
~ Sean
The Borg: Resistance is futile!
LOL as the kids say - that was funny!
Sean, I read your writing today and think of the next layer of the onion being revealed. We're only ready for the deeper truths after we do some of the searching and healing and growth the earlier work brings about. Who could accept these deeper truths at the beginning of the journey - whether newly sober, new to a religion, new to a spiritual practice. The trust has to be established between the teacher and student for it to be received openly and without fear. Thank you for your courage to hear the call - you are like a scout showing us the path ahead if we have the courage to embrace it.
Thank you, Andrea. I agree with this - we have to clear ground and even rebuild soil before the new shoots of peace and joy appear. And the garden needs to be tended - composted, folded, turned over, seeded, etc. Sinking into the tending - being willing to disappear into the tending - feels like the part of the work I (always "I") fear the most, and yet increasingly I realize that's where the liberation, the awakening, is. That's WHAT the liberation and awakening is. And I cannot do this alone. I can only do it in relationship, in communion, with others. I am lately in the mind of Tolkien, who emphasized that we cannot choose the time or place of our encounter with life, but with friends - with a fellowship of folks working together to support and empower each other - the journey simplifies, becomes manageable.
Thank you for seeing the work I'm trying to do and thank you for being with me and supporting me. We are in this together, and I am deeply grateful 🙏🙏
~ Sean
This is a deeply humbling post.
I remember going into the privacy of the confessional to mumble my sins to the priest, ask forgiveness, do the penance, move on. Sean, what you’ve done here is blown off the doors of the confessional by telling an open truth which is true for all of us. You rightly point out that the system (which we have co-created) is set up to make us fear one another. A system that makes it easy for me to judge “the other” and draw my separatist and elevated conclusions that fool me into feeling comfortable. But that comfort doesn’t last.
I recently spoke with an elderly nun, foundress of her cloistered community, about the suffering of the world and how to navigate the all-consuming anger that arises at those who foster it for their own gain. He must be in terrible pain to cruelly attack others as he does, she said of our president. “I feel anger too. And yet I pray for him which keeps my heart open—otherwise I sink into the suffering itself.” It's becoming clearer to me that the suffering I cause (in all its many forms) is because I myself am hurting. How will I learn to see Christness in myself, in others, even in him.
The systemic criticism is hardest to hold, especially when faced with its most egregious nodes. But yeah! I can't imagine the inner life of Donald Trump - the fear of death, the loss of control. Lots of pain there. In a sense, he and the moment present a profound opportunity for healing - both in terms of how we are feeling (are we fed, nurtured, sheltered, at play) but also in repairing the system. I find a lot of cause for hope in young people - there are some incredible young women and men out there, with clear minds and big hearts, hands unafraid of getting dirty. I'm grateful for them.
And yes, prayer is the hinge. I have been taken back to basics in that domain! I got some clear instructions to pray as I was taught to pray and it has been powerful. So much grace to be found in stillness, puttering, and getting out of the way. And then the moments when we are called to serve are easier to notice and meet - and let go of as they pass. I always loved Leonard Cohen's cover of "Passing Through." I feel so connected these days in our "passing-throughness." Love can be denigrated, denied and dismissed but never defeated. Love is what stays.
Thanks for being here, Susan.
Sean
You have once again portrayed the role of the one. I have heard, who uses a stick to wake you up in meditation. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for expressing your wisdom so courageously and so clearly. In Gratitude- RO
you're welcome, Rose - thank you for being here 🙏🙏
~ Sean
Perfect Sean xx