On Hugs

. . . notes on extension in A Course in Miracles

In my last two posts I talked about projection - of that which appears as good and that which appears as not-good. The point was, they are the same thing! Projection is always the expression of a fear-filled mind - a mind that fears it is weak, guilty and vulnerable and undeserving of grace and forgiveness.

In A Course in Miracles, the opposite of projection is extension (e.g., T-2.I.1:7). When we project, we are rejecting something - we are severing ourselves from it, casting it out. It's like looking within, seeing a shroud that frightens us, and draping it over a brother or sister. "You wear this - this fits you - not me."

When I do this to you I am not actually seeing you. I am basically saying that your whole value is as a receptable for whatever guilt/anger/hatred/insecurity I feel a need to dissociate from at a given moment.

And we both deserve better.

For example, when I extend something, it stays with me but it also reaches you. A hug is a basic but helpful example. I don't cut my arms off and throw them at you; I don't walk off with your arms. We extend our arms, we lean into an embrace, and we get on with it. Hugs are nice!

Also? The same thing - the extension, embrace and going on together - can happen at the level of mind. It is the natural function of Creation, and nothing else is worthy of us.

To create is to love. Love extends outward simply because it cannot be contained . . . God's creations have always been, because He has always been. Your creations have always been, because you can create only as God creates (T-7.I.3:3-4, 7-8).

So one invitation A Course in Miracles makes is: remember how to extend, instead of project. That's it; that's the practice. Learn to create as you are created.

Sometimes we say, “okay, cool, but how?"

One way is to practice acceptance of the inward condition, regardless of how we "feel" about it. Just make space to be scared or angry or jealous or petty or whatever.

Look within and accept what you see. Acceptance is what I mean when I talk about practicing nonviolence in the context of ACIM. Just let ego make its case for how awful you are, how awful the world can be, and how scary life is. Let it get ugly and then uglier. Let it go nuclear.

Your job is to not fight back. Don't argue with ego, don't reject ego, don't push back on ego. Just let it be what it is. Give attention to it without buying into its rage-filled drama. “Cool, I’m the worst ACIM student ever - what else would you like to share?”

I can't say when it will happen or whether it will precisely mirror my experience but I can tell you that eventually something like this is going to happen: you're going to realize that ego is a channel you can choose to change. You can ask yourself: what would the Holy Spirit say? What's playing on that station?

And you will change the channel and find out.

And while I can't say exactly what the Holy Spirit is telling you I can say this: it speaks to you of being in a loving and creative relationship with all your brothers and sisters because you are not separate from them. There are no others.

When we understand that, even a little, then projection loses its effectiveness. We see that we are doing this to ourselves. And we naturally become interested in an alternative - namely, extension.

In other words, we get serious about hugs at all the levels.

If you perceive truly you are cancelling out misperceptions in yourself and in others simultaneously. Because you see them as they are, you offer them your acceptance of their truth so they can accept it for themselves (T-3.II.6:5-6).

And that becomes the miracle, right? We see our brothers and sisters as they are in truth, which means that we see our own Self, and as we see our Self, our brothers and sisters remember who they are, and for a moment or two - sometimes a whole hour, sometimes even days - we are free to create like the Children of God we are.

When the light comes and you have said, "God's Will is mine," you will see such beauty that you will know it is not of you. Out of your joy you will create beauty in His Name, for your joy could no more be contained than His. The bleak little world will vanish into nothingness, and your heart will be so filled with joy that it will leap into Heaven, and into the Presence of God (T-11.III.3:3-5).

I cannot hug your body today! Instead I give you my wordiness, which reflects my learning that we are in this together, and our togetherness is our salvation. Let that be our shared embrace, and let us exclude nobody from it.

Thank you as always for sharing with me. Truly, I would be lost without you.

Love,
Sean